definitely...maybe...girls

So...

Neither of us could really sleep last night, we had babies on the brain.  I kept myself occupied this morning pre appointment by painting my nails... all of them and I just have to say that painting one's toenails whilst 19 weeks pregnant with twins is no small accomplishment.... there was definitely some contorting going on but the distraction did the trick and they were still drying in flip flops while I was driving to the hospital for our appointment.

Andrew met me there and I had to go and get a hospital card first.  I was pleasantly surprised at the condition of this hospital... seemed far less dingy than the other local hospitals.  The other nice part was that the ultrasounds are done on the maternity ward and they seem very punctual and it was very clean. 

We had two ultrasound technicians, one nice one, one less than nice one.  The appointment lasted close to an hour and a half and we are dealing with some active babies!  They were kicking and punching each other for most of the appointment.  (the pre appointment cupcake that I ate likely had something to do with that).  The nice technician was a resident and showed us a clear between the legs shot and said we are having girls... she then said that she isn't allowed to tell us so the second (less than nice) technician would have to confirm.

Enter the less than nice technician... not at all interested in helping us figure out if these two are boys or girls.  Then we have me... holding back tears because I cannot take the wait any longer...in the end she said she didn't have time to look further to confirm but that from what she saw she felt they were girls. 

So.... we are 99.99% sure we are having girls.

Google images is backing up this feeling 100%. 

We will know for sure next Wednesday.... and I will bring on the full tears if we get another not-interested-in-helping-us-figure-out-what-these-babies-are technician... yes I am that desperate for 100% confirmation.

My initial reaction was disbelief.  I was just so convinced that they would be boys... everyone I talked to said "you're having boys".  But they were wrong it appears. 

We are cautiously but definitely thrilled.

via

ivf.....everybody's doing it

I seldom talk about IVF on this blog anymore, even though it was one of the main inspirations for starting the blog in the first place.  I still read IVF forums, still cheer on fellow IVFer's and still drive by our IVF clinic at least once a week.  So much has changed since we started with the fertility clinic last summer.  When I think about IVF now, I am happy.  I am happy because it exists and I am happy that we were one of the lucky ones where it worked the first time.

One of the biggest things I found when we started out, was how taboo the whole subject was.  I mean I never knew of or heard of anyone remotely close to me who had gone through it.  To me, I pictured lab coats and science experiments which somehow resulted in babies.

The reality isn't too far off if you are lucky.

Now that I am coming up on 19 weeks of pregnancy I feel like a normal pregnant woman in some respects (not counting the fact that I am much larger then most at 20 weeks due to the fact that there are two babies in here) but I will always be thankful for the science experiment that resulted in this miracle. 

One thing that has changed since the start... I run into someone who has done IVF, is doing IVF or has a close friend that has done IVF almost daily.  Where were these people a year ago?  Do you have to be part of the club to be let in on the secret that a lot more people undergo IVF then you would think?  Maybe it is because I am so open and eager to share the fact that we did IVF that I am finding so many others from this club. 

My point... I really hope that people keep sharing and talking about IVF so it is no longer taboo.  I also hope that all of those going through IVF can someday share my feelings and think about how great a process it really is and how lucky we all are that it exists.

Oh and did I mention that there is one more day until the big reveal?  Get excited!

No this has nothing to do with my post... but it is just so pretty!  Breaking Through by slightclutter via etsy

two days until we know your secret

Dear twins in my belly,

On Wednesday of this week we will know your secret.... We will know if we will have two members of a hockey team or two gymnasts, we will know if putting you in rompers and dresses will be appropriate or just cruel, we will know if we should lean more towards blues and greens than pinks and purples.... quite simply, we will know if you are two boys or two girls.

I am so excited to find out what you are so that you will become even more real to me.  I am so excited at the prospect of naming you and starting to think of you as individual unique babies that are ours. 

When we first found out that you had taken up residence in my tummy I secretly, well maybe not so secretly, hoped that you were of a certain gender.  As time has passed and with Wednesday fast approaching, I now only hope that you are each healthy and growing and happy where you are. 

I hope that you are ready to let us in on your secret.... if one of you happens to be shy like your Mommy once was, that is okay too.... we only really need one of you to cooperate since you are identical twins.

So looking forward to Wednesday...

xoxo mommy

Gold RainCloud Mobile by leptitpapillon via etsy

wildly inappropriate yet hilarious

Just Dance Art Print by 2ndcoming via etsy

Sorry Mom.... this was just too good not to share!

It's Friday and I do feel like dancing.  Although I don't think all the jiggling would feel so hot at this point....in the tummy growth department.  Yes every day is now like Friday for me since I am on leave from work, but Friday still has that extra power to be that much better than every other day during the week.

On the agenda this weekend.... a lot of guessing as to what is inside of me.... boys or girls... we find out next week!

Happy Friday!

patio furniture... take one

If you have been following along for a while now, you will already know that I have been counting down to warm weather for quite some time.  You might also know that something strange happened to me recently and I decided I would rather not travel anytime in near future (weird pregnancy instinct.... I think so) so instead, we are going to create our very own backyard oasis in the coming months.  I have been busy dreaming up furniture, plant and accessory ideas while my Husband has been drafting deck, patio and retaining wall details.

Some might think that March in Ottawa, especially a March with snow following, is a tad too early for patio furniture shopping.  I disagree.  In an effort to maximize our far too short summer months, Canadians have a tendency to be seen sitting outside on patios on the first days post snow melt.  This tendency also translates into a very early patio furniture season where, if you don't act quickly, you will be relegated to using your parent's old patio set cira 1970.

So last weekend, when my Mom and I happened upon the Ikea spring release of its patio furniture, I knew it was time to get shopping.

The first set we considered was this one....

Ikea Nordano table and chairs via

At first glance this set looked perfect.  We had a much smaller version of the table when we lived in our condo and what is great is that the table can be adjusted.  This one starts out seating four and when the sides are folded out it can seat six or even eight.  The chairs also seemed great at first.  They recline.  Then we realized that the backs are so low that if you reclined in the chair.... it would be downright uncomfortable.  At a price tag nearing the $850 mark for the table, four chairs, four chair cushions, the umbrella and the umbrella stand.... we decided to keep looking.

The next set we saw to me...... cried less than ideal quality..... but it was moving towards the right idea....

This is from the Hudson Collection at Canadian tire.  It just seemed a little too delicate for my taste and for the always changing weather.  The total price was roughly $700.

We also saw a set similar to this one but I think it's too "Miami Beach" for our backyard...

Patioflare Acadia via Home Depot

Slightly too modern for oasis vision I think.  Price tag.... $999.

Finally we found this option.... 

Martha Stewart Fiori via Home Depot

This set is perfect for what we are looking for and the price was definitely a great surprise... $599 for all eight pieces (six chairs, six cushions, the table, the umbrella).  This feels laid back and refined at the same time.

We picked it up on Saturday (it was great to get out of this house for an hour after being sequestered inside battling this flu).  The boxes were slightly larger than anticipated and we had to tie down both of our cars to get all three boxes home.  They are now in the garage.  Andrew managed to maneuver them out of the cars with one working arm.  Once this awful snow melts for good, we will be one step closer to getting them in the backyard!

Now we just need to find a couple nice loungers for the deck, a small accent table, a bunch of pots, plants, .... and the list goes on.

twin bump.... at 18 weeks

I have gained twenty pounds so far in this pregnancy.  That is a significant amount for me who normally has to throw back milkshakes laced with corn syrup in order to gain a couple of pounds.  Apparently it is easier to gain weight when growing two babies.... who would have thought!

At the 18 week mark I am feeling pretty good, well besides the fact that I still feel horribly sick from this cold.  Belly wise though things are going great.  I gained five pounds over the past four weeks which is pretty on track for a twin pregnancy.  My tummy also isn't feeling like it is going to rip open anymore so I hope this trend continues.

I've been feeling more movement in there and last night I felt two swift kicks on either side of my tummy so I am thinking they have decided to finally make their presence known.

I also dragged my sick self to my first prenatal aquafit class on monday night.  I just hated the idea of showing up on week 2 of the session and not knowing where to go, and not knowing anyone.  Getting in the pool felt great and the work out was really light which is fine as I joined the class more to meet other preggos and to just be in a pool every week.  The hardest part was realizing how heavy I felt when I got out of the pool!

We've made a few baby related purchases recently and are just waiting to go a little nuts after we find out their gender next week!!!

So far we have purchased four packs of diapers..... I assume we will need about a thousand more, a video monitor, a wipes warmer.... you might think this is unnecessary but I just think that putting a cold wipe on a warm tush cannot feel pleasant, and we just purchased a book on healthy sleeping habits for twins.

I can't wait to start buying for the nursery!

And now for the belly.....

 

I think it is rounding out a bit and definitely think it is significantly bigger than my 16 week belly.

Happy Wednesday! ..and just in case you missed it... here is the twin bump at 14 weeks and at 16 weeks!

two strong heartbeats and a big sigh

We had our second OB appointment today and he was able to easily find two distinct heartbeats.  This was a huge relief.  In the last few weeks I have secretly been harboring a fear that there was only one in there.  I mean I have been feeling kicks and movement sporadically but it is so hard to determine whether this movement is from one baby or two different ones.  This combined with the fact that during our first OB appointment he could only find one heartbeat and we haven't had a baby show (ultrasound) since I was eight weeks pregnant!  Can you blame me for having some fears?  Hearing the beats at 150 and 160 was fantastic and definitely made me forgot about the incessant coughing fits that have occupied almost every breath this past week.

Now that was not the big sigh of relief..... the big sigh can only come from one thing.... I am saying goodbye to my day job for now.  Feeling guilty for being off sick while pregnant does not help a pregnant woman get better.... neither does knowing that my job is poised to increase drastically in the stress department in the months to come.  So I am saying goodbye for now.  Now is not the time to stress.  I had enough stress the last two years to do me.  Now is the time to relax and try to enjoy this pregnancy.

I just threw back a bunch of OB approved cough syrup and have some tylenol + codeine on hand.  It is time to kick this cold and let the de-stressing begin!!!

by farouche via etsy

bloom and grow

It wouldn't be spring in Ottawa without snow.  The winter snow has almost melted so of course we needed some spring snow.  I am refusing to look outside and taking comfort in the weather forecast for next week.... sunny skies.... warmer weather. 

Time for things to start blooming and growing.... am I am not just referring to to tummy.

I am sad to say that I am still battling this flu.  I have officially misplaced my voice and would very much love to have it back.  I am also fairly certain that the twins are fed up with all of the coughing, sneezing and headaches.

I am off to see my OB tomorrow and am really hoping he can prescribe some miracle cure.

I hope that while you read this you are in a sunnier, warmer and less flu plagued state where things are blooming, growing and blossoming!

Happy Monday!

Watering Can Garden Print by rawletterpress via etsy

under the weather..... a letter to the twins

Dear twins in my belly....

I must apologize for the less than perfect environment that you have likely been residing in for the past few days.  I have been out with the flu.  I know your usual Four Seasons like accommodations have likely been feeling more like a Holiday Inn and less like a five star hotel... I promise I will make it up to you.  You may have also been feeling a tad hazy as Mommy has been popping Tylenol like it's her best friend as of late.  I promise that this is temporary and things will become clearer in the near future.  I am hoping that you have been enjoying all of the water that I have been sending you as I have been trying to literally drink my way out of this flu.  You are likely also getting tired of my general inactivity, or what I would like to call... living on the couch.  I am hoping this stage is passed and that we can get outside and walking very soon.  Lastly, if you are contributing to my difficulty breathing I forgive you, but if you are able to relocate yourselves to a less cramped area of my body without any trouble, that might just benefit all three of us!

Hang in there and I promise you will be back to living in a warm oasis in no time.

xoxo mommy

The Last of the Sunlight by mfayrephotography via etsy

one hundred followers & a retirement party....time to celebrate!

It is time to break out the balloons, cake and champagne (or in my case...punch) and do the celebration dance!  Today is a big day!  My Dad is joining my Mom in the best job of their lives.... retirement.  Just a little open note to my parents.... your first grandchildren are on their way so soak up the free time full of bliss, adventure and traveling now please... I am going to need you in oh let's say four or five months.

I was so happy to see that lovely "100" this morning on my blog.  I have been waiting for it for a while now and am so thrilled that one hundred of you openly follow my blog!  I have to say that I was tempted to host a giveaway of some sorts to lure you up to that number but I am happy that I held out.  One of these days I am sure a giveaway will make its appearance on this blog so you haven't lost out!

I have been blogging for six months and it all started here.... in an attempt to lose my worries in a virtual world.  I was so lucky to gain so much support early on.  I will never forget why I started this blog and the role it played in getting me to this point and of course sharing in the celebration of the best day ever. 

Orange You Ready to Party by OrangeSparrow via etsy

Cupcakes Photography by heidiadnum via etsy

Dancer by Kameronelisabeth via etsy

So cheers to a great day!  Thank you for helping me get here!  Pull out your party dress and celebrate with me!

pretty in pink

For me, picking out a wedding dress was definitely one of the best parts of being engaged.  I love clothes and I especially love dresses.  My biggest challenge was finding something that I felt like myself in.  Several dresses that I tried on made me feel like I was playing dress-up, something that I was certainly not comfortable with for our big day.  I found the dress at the second store we went to.... of course I had to visit two other stores and then drive back to Toronto to make sure it was definitely the one before pulling the trigger.... but I still think it was relatively painless.... hopefully my Mom felt the same way as she was there for every dress... good, bad and just plain ugly.

I admit, I still love to spend a Friday night watching episodes of Say Yes to the Dress and I will jump at the chance to go wedding dress shopping with you... just ask!  I don't think my love of wedding dresses will ever disappear.

I have never seen a bride wear pink in person but I think on the right woman it could look fabulous... something close to this...

Blushing in Pink by ouma via etsy

So how do you feel about pink + wedding day?

twin bump.... at 16 weeks

Time seems to be flying by.  I can't believe I am already four months pregnant.... well I should clarify that... I believe it when I look at my tummy, quite easily in fact... but it still feels so surreal.  I think when we find out the gender it will feel that much more real.  Just a few more weeks to go!

I have been feeling more and more human as every day passes.  I have been to the gym the past three days in a row... not exactly pushing it by any means... but just getting up and moving around feels amazing.  Food has also become easier.  I find that if I just eat all the time I feel pretty good.  I am also finding it much easier to find healthy appealing options lately, now that the food aversions have calmed down a bit.

The weird pregnancy dreams are in full swing.  I think I am harboring anxiety over the whole birth issue.  I had a dream a couple of nights ago that I went into early labor, like extreme early labor.... I was at the hospital and I was telling the doctor that I couldn't give birth now... I am only 16 weeks!  When I woke up it all seemed crazy but it kind of let me know that I am sort of pushing the whole birth part out of my mind, so perhaps this was my subconscious telling me to start considering it.... and the many many ways that it could play out.  After much debate we bit the bullet and signed up for a multiples prenatal class at the high risk hospital that we will be delivering at.  I was worried that this course would likely freak me out with all of the hospital interventions but ultimately decided that it is better to have an idea of what exactly is going to go down there, than to go in blindly hoping for the best.  I do have a long while to go and I am telling the twins to stay in there a good long time before they make their debut into this world.

Last weekend we felt something.  We're pretty sure that the something was a baby as there was a firm spot for a few minutes and it definitely felt different and then the spot disappeared.  Andrew was there luckily and thinks he "felt baby".  We are both anxious to start feeling more movement... so get kicking babies!

And now for the belly.....

 

There it is... in all of its glory!  It looks quite pointy in that picture but I would like to think it looks more rounded in person!

Happy Wednesday! ..and just in case you missed it... here is the twin bump at 14 weeks!

walking away can be so fashionable!

Usually we concern ourselves with what we think are the more visible details...how we look straight. on... when really.... the view as you're walking away can be even sweeter......

So pretty with skinny jeans... Infinite Iris Tank via Anthropologie

The back is almost better then the front!  via

Floral Chiffon Layered Bandeau Dress via ASOS

And the back.... is gorgeous... via

DVF Theia Two Tone Wedge Sandles via

Usually I don't go for a zipper up the back but this one doesn't seem tough, it's somehow pretty via

Do you leave a lasting impression as you walk away?

Happy Tuesday!

backyard oasis thoughts..... continued

I was so happy to see such a positive response to all of the baby ideas I posted on Friday.  It was also fun to read some of your guesses as to what I will be having! 

After work on Friday I headed over to Chapters.  There is something about ending a work week roaming around Chapters with a Starbucks in hand that just feels so good.  While there I picked up a couple of backyard design and garden design magazines for some backyard oasis research.  A few key things that popped out included.... using an abundance of planters is definitely a must and these planters definitely do not need to match, different colours of plants will prompt relaxation, energy and boldness so be mindful when it comes to colours and finally that one could easily spend tons and tons of money on fully decking out the backyard but that there are ways to maximize the look without maximizing the cost.

I love this planter.  Especially the purple / red / green contrast.  via

This to me is a dream oasis, I just want to curl up on that couch with a good book and a glass of sangria...  via

 

Here is a very creative way to incorporate planters into the backyard.  I am just curious about how the planters don't get broken... via

So far I think I am partial to cooler tones in the garden... via

 

I think a fountain is a must... this one is colourful and simple at the same time... via

Are there any backyard musts in your opinion?

Happy Monday!

will they be boys or girls

This is the question that is occupying most of my waking thoughts.  I keep trying to will them to somehow let me know what they are but so far.... no luck! 

Family seems to be thinking they are boys.... well everyone actually thinks that they are boys.  There is no hard evidence for this.... I am almost convinced that they want me to have boys just to see me so out of my element.  I grew up in a house of girls (sorry Dad).  Between my sister, my mom and I there were been tons of clothes, tons of products and one man that kept us all sane... my Dad.  So you see, I am just really not used to boys.  In fact when I was young I would avoid going to girlfriends homes that had older (and definitely scary) brothers.  So perhaps the universe will pull a fast one on me and surround me with boys.

Boys or girls, whatever they may be... they will certainly require stuff... stuff like clothes, bedding, furniture, gear and the list goes on and on and on.

So if they are boys.... here is what I am thinking so far...

Bellamina's Owl Bookend by karensagez via etsy

Woodgrain Baby Quilt by SewnNatural via etsy

Organic Stuffed Animal Monkey by SewnNatural via etsy

Hanging Owl Baby Mobile by CarrotFever via etsy

Grano Glider Recliner via Monte

One Spring Fox Woodland Critter by Lulufroot via etsy

And if they are girls.... here is what I am thinking so far...

Bellamina's Owl Pillow by karensagez via etsy

Quilt in Strawberry Fields Forever by SewnNatural via etsy

Upcycled mobile soft pink wool felt elephants by SewnNatural who happens to be from Ottawa!  via etsy

3 Sprouts Organic Owl Storage Caddy via Fab Baby Gear

Grano Glider Recliner via Monte

Organic Rabbit and 3 wooden Easter Eggs by SewnNatural via etsy

Peaceful Deer, Tree by Sugarfresh via etsy

What do you think I am having?  I would love to know!

one day I will go to santorini

For now I will just dream...

Santorini by bellalucephotography via etsy

Santorini by bellalucaphotography via etsy

Atlantis Fine art Santorini by littleBstudio via etsy

Santorini Doorway by PhotoArtByWendy via etsy

Architecture in Santorini, by wzphotography via etsy

Barbie's Vespa by aroundin80frames via etsy

If you could go anywhere today... where would you go?

spring is near

Today is March 1st and that means that we are nineteen days away from the first official day of spring!  To say that I am excited is a large understatement!  We got a large dump of snow yesterday but it's that light kind that will hopefully disappear with the rain this week.

I don't think I have ever wanted spring as bad as I do this year.  I long for the days of Hunter Boots and big fresh puddles, of birds chirping and warm sunny skies, of leaving the house in flats instead of winter boots and of always needing my sunglasses.

I think the reasons for this are largely belly related..... it will be so much nicer to walk outside when I don't have to continually scan the ground for ice.... so many heavy layers make me feel that much bigger normally, add the belly and well you get the picture.... and the biggest reason..... if spring doesn't come soon I am going to burst through my winter non-belly friendly coat.  Come. On. Spring!

 Some spring inspiration.... to tie us cold weather dwellers over until the real thing!

My first attempt at using Polyvore!  If you know how I go about centering this... please.... let me know! 

Food Fashion Friends: Recipes And Styling For Unforgettable Parties, $50
Twelfth Street by Cynthia Vincent flat shoes, $195
Kate Spade metal umbrella, $75
Original Gloss - Duck egg blue - Hunter Boots, 72 GBP
Women - Yellow Stone-Washed Twill Classics, $65
Perpetual Kew Planter, Medium - Anthropologie.com, $28

Happy Tuesday!