thirty two weeks pregnant

Time seems to finally be flying by.  I feel like I was just entering the 30's and now I find myself wondering where the time went.

I think we're ready.

I mean there are still some things that need to get done (like painting of the dresser for the nursery, the hanging of the artwork and mirror and the replacing of the blinds and curtains)... but these aren't showstoppers.  These seem like lose ends that will get done very shortly.  I should probably pack my hospital bag too but I am thinking that if it isn't packed, then I can't go into labor.  I kind of feel like if I pack it, I will be too ready if that makes any sense at all.

Have I mentioned that Andrew has been mia these past weeks?  Well he has been studying... all of the time when he hasn't been at work.  His exam is Monday.  I can't wait.  I want my Husband back.

As excited as I am for these babies to arrive, I am also clinging to the time that we have left together, just the two of us.  I read this lovely birth story earlier this week and suddenly found myself tearing up.

At this point physically I feel heavy, my feet and hands have started to swell (which I've fought against by drinking ridiculous amounts of water every day and by sleeping with an ice pack between my feet (I wish I was kidding)), moving around is getting harder but I am still being told that I am waddle free and show no evidence of the pregnant belly from behind (I am determined to remain waddle free, no matter how tempting it may become!).

Emotionally ... I am emotional.  I cry when I wake up and realize I have nothing planned for the day and will have to spend it laying on a couch or a mat, I cry when I make a ridiculous mistake that makes me feel like the bigger this belly gets, the smaller my brain gets, and I cry when I see our babies on the ultrasound screen, doing amazing things like practicing breathing and opening and closing their eyes.

Right now despite this roller coaster, or maybe because of it, I feel raw and ready, in awe of what my body has done and keeps on doing and oh so excited for the weeks to come.

miele s4... love at first sight

Yesterday I picked up this lovely new addition...

Over the past few months we have experienced several appliance failures.  First came the laundry pair, next the dishwasher (which is still a work in progress), recently we came to accept that we made yet another vacuum purchase error (that is 3 vacuums in 5 years!!) and thanks to the killer rainstorm that we had on Friday our home phone was blown.

Seriously universe, this is not a good year for all of this!  IVF + ICSI + Twins + Hormonal Woman = one expensive year.

Back to the vacuum... so when we first moved in together after university we bought a condo, a 900 square foot condo which (we thought) only warranted a cheap eureka vacuum from costco.  Well when it started making the carpets dirtier instead of cleaner we knew we'd make a mistake.  So I googled and found that apparently many many people loved the Kenmore Elegance upright vacuum.  Well I don't know who those people are that get kicks out of pushing around something that feels like a rather large and heavy boulder, but I am not one of them.  When we bought this house almost 3 years ago we thought the Kenmore could handle it if we also bought a stick vacuum for all of the hardwood and ceramic.... mistake.  I learned last week that our stick electolux vacuum has an average life expectancy of 1 to 2 years (I think we got a good year and a half out of it).

So here we are, 5 years later, $500+ down the drain.

So the only logical thing to do was to invest (... no more crappy sub par vacuums) in a quality piece of equipment.  Yesterday off I went with my Mom to CardyVac in Ottawa and 30 minutes later left with the Miele S4 special edition.  I liken the situation to "he had me at hello" only this time "he had me when he started jumping on the canister."  This unit is super light and seems to have a crazy amount of suction.  Throw in a 10 year warranty and I am feeling pretty confident about this decision!

Now my only problem is that I was so excited about the vacuum that I started using it... which normally would be a good thing but the cleaning lady is starting on Thursday and how dare I do part of her job for her!

i make big babies

It's what I do apparently.  Well I guess the title should really be we make big babies but since I am the vessel / incubator I think it only fair that I take the credit.

We had our bi-weekly ultrasound on Friday and Alice & Isla are doing well, very well in fact.  They were both practicing breathing which apparently is early to see and they weighed in at a whopping 3 pounds 11 ounces and 3 pounds 8 ounces.  Apparently they are on par with what a single would weigh at this point.  So that means I am carrying around 7+ pounds of babies and I still have several weeks to go, the goal being 4 or 5 more weeks. I am trying not to guesstimate what they could weigh at that point.  We were hoping for 5+ pound babies but I think they might surpass that goal.

Things are definitely feeling more cramped in there.  There is often one baby sticking way out on one side, probably trying to get a little space.  They are both head down and will remain that way for the rest of this pregnancy (I am convinced).

I am feeling less and less like myself, and more and more like a blimp, beached whale or cow.  It takes way too much effort to get up off of the couch, or out of bed or out of the car.  We went for a walk last night and at one point I told Andrew to please just carry me.  I was joking but I mean logistically there is just no way that he could at this point.

Ruffle Butt Fine Art Print by Porcelynn via etsy

While celebrating the big babies that I am growing, I also managed to secure a cleaning lady to start this week!  I can't wait!  The state of this place has been driving me crazy!!  So long dust bunnies!  We are also contemplating a new vacuum... any suggestions?

confused

I think that our cats think that the nursery and all of the baby purchases are for them.

Why do I think this?

Well when I can't find one of them they have been turning up in the change table, in a bassinet, in a crib (how she maneuvered herself into that... I will never know)!

but... this latest sighting really does take the cake.

i am impressed... but the best part, she purrred ridiculously when I pried her out of there, almost like she was saying thank you for this fabulously soft bouncer that fits me perfectly.

Okay so in all seriousness I do have some anxiety over our cats, anxiety centered around will they be upset, feel neglected, wonder who these tiny wonders are?  I don't buy into those old wives tales that cats can suffocate babies and plan on letting them cuddle up to the babies if they so chose.  Besides, according to my Mom she would know the cat was with me because the cradle would be lopsided, and I survived to tell this tale!

So Heidi and Little One, don't take it personally, we still love you, we are just expanding our family and soon enough our little wonders will love you too!

Have you introduced a baby into your cat's life?  How did that go down?

Happy Friday!

we're not nervous

As of yesterday, I am 31 weeks pregnant.  I am also up 51 pounds (scary).  31 weeks means that we should be meeting our girls in oh about another 6 weeks (if not sooner).  I've mentioned before that I have been reading a couple of twin books and I will post some reviews shortly.  One thing that really sticks out from one of the books is that often twin mothers deliver their babies early as a self fulfilling prophecy.  As in... they believe they will go early... so they do.  So to avoid such an outcome I've decided that these babies are going to stay in there until 37 weeks.  Until I likely can no longer stand up without some sort of a crane or human assistant.

Since I am 31 weeks and I look like I should deliver any minute now, Andrew and I have been bombarded with these questions... "you must be so nervous", "you will never sleep again", and my favourite "do you think you're cut out for this fatherhood (or motherhood) thing?"

Really?  You are really asking me (us) this? Do you think you are helping by asking these questions?  What if we answered "we are scared shitless, please help us", "thank you for letting me know that I will never sleep again, that makes me feel so wonderful", and finally, "no, I am definitely not cut out to be a mother (or father), what were we thinking?"

I mean these comments don't honestly bother me (well maybe the whole questioning whether we are cut out to be parents does slightly).

Besides, I think most couples expecting their first child are nervous to some degree.

I think a few things have lead to us feeling less than nervous for Alice and Isla's arrival.  The main one being that we worked hard for this.  It was a very long year to get to this point.  It involved a lot of stress, a team of experts and a lot of money.  We really won the lottery in the end.  Two for the price of one in many ways.

Yes we know our lives will never be the same.  But that is the point really of all of this.

Us, a year ago, in Whistler, BC.

So call us crazy naive, but we are ready to embrace the craziness that will become our lives later this summer!

lazy

I had another lazy day today but this time it involved a pool.

Pool + pregnant = amazing.

Cenote Swimming Hole Tulum by 4blankwalls via etsy

Tomorrow I will be 31 weeks pregnant.  I may feel like a whale but I am thinking that 31 weeks is pretty fantastic.

camping with babies

Last summer we spent a total of two weekends at home.  The rest of the summer was spent camping... mostly camping in the rain.  A while back I really thought we could swing a pre babies camping trip but reality is setting in.  I am thinking that sleeping in a tent, despite that tent interior resembling a hotel room, would likely be quite uncomfortable.  Throw in the multiple trips to the lou throughout the night and the fact that showering in a tiny public shower with this tummy would likely result in my body touching a wall or a curtain.... reality sucks.

So now I am leaping ahead in my mind to late summer... let's say very last weekend of august or the september long weekend... with two babies in tow.

Am I insane?

I do not have visions of us spending all day relaxing, drinking wine and beer and playing lots of cards.  What I do have is visions of a change of scenery.  I mean realistically I will largely be confined for the first while... to this house... yes there will be walks to starbucks and to the park but mainly I will be here all the time with the babies.  I can't wait to meet them and get to know them but a change of scenery could just be healthy and might maintain some of my sanity... might.

If we're going to be spending all of our time feeding, comforting, changing and bonding with these two little girls, why not conduct such activities in the great outdoors?

A Summer Camp Kiss by DenFinocchiaro via etsy

backyard oasis sneak peek

Okay so the backyard is pretty much done, the patio is done, the retaining wall is in, the flower beds are complete, the deck is constructed and the furniture has been purchased.  I just need to take some good pictures.  I promise I will do that this weekend and post all of the pictures next week.

For now I will just give you a peek into the progress, bloom style...

Today I have an ob appointment and I am really hoping to follow that up with a mani + pedi.... I just need to find somewhere that can take me on such short notice.

My weekend plans consist of laying around in the backyard reading and trying to make some good progress on the first actual knitting project that I took on... exciting.... I know....

What are your weekend plans?  Are you going anywhere exciting?  Please share so that I can live vicariously through you!

Happy Weekend!

do you have a cleaning lady?

Good morning!  Today is a fabulous day because I am going for a massage and our water ban is temporarily lifted on Thursdays .... starting today.... so the plants can finally get a good soaking.

We are debating a cleaning lady.  Strongly considering.  Thinking it might be essential.

Funny enough I had this vision that after I give birth I will be able to return to my former self who actually enjoys cleaning and doesn't feel guiltly about being on my feet pushing a heavy vaccum and scrubbing a bathtub on my hands and knees.

Then reality set in.

When exactly will I have the time for this?

Don't get me wrong, Andrew is also a cleaner and in normal life does a lot of cleaning too.  Normal life would be months ago... before the endless to-do list that we concocted for him which still isn't fully satisfied.

The bottom line.  We will have two babies.  Two babies who will need constant caring, love and attention.  There is that saying that a clean house is a sign of a wasted life... well I completely disagree and need a clean house to function.

I am not talking a live in maid here.  I am talking a bi-weekly cleaning service to really give this place a thorough scrubbing.  So the search is on.

We need someone reliable with good references, who does not fear cats and who will use the eco-friendly products that we provide.

Do you have a cleaning lady or would you consider hiring one?

Oh and if you happen to reside in Ottawa and have a fabulous name to share I will be forever grateful!

Lavanderia by magnesina via etsy

thirty weeks pregnant

Today I am 30 weeks pregnant!  It feels so good to be out of the 20's and into the 30's.  These babies are going to come in the 30's.  I am in the home stretch.  I am thinking more and more about what life will be like when they arrive.  Andrew and I have both been reading multiple books on caring for newborn multiples and we're constantly throwing advice at one another in hopes that one of us will remember it when we're in the throws of juggling two babies.

I am feeling pretty good.  My only issues at present include boredom (seriously, I wake up thinking of a plan for what I am going to do until Andrew gets home... sad but true) and the ever increasing size of my tummy which seems to make everything else feel heavy.  Funny enough months ago I read on a blog that the mommy-to-be needed to be physically pulled out of bed at the end of her pregnancy.  My thoughts at the time were somewhere along the lines of seriously, what a cow, who is this person who let themselves get soo big and soo weak?  I am eating my words.  I can still propel myself out of bed and off the couch but it isn't without effort, effort that might actually leave me short of breath.  I think I am up more than 45 pounds... yikes!

The nursery is coming together so well.  I can't wait to share it with you.  The closet organizer went up this weekend and I did a ton of baby laundry.  Just a few more things to do and it will be ready.

Last week I broke the doctor's rules and went on a couple of outside of the house adventures.  That first forbidden car ride felt amazing.  Surely the happiness that I felt in leaving the house couldn't really be bad for me.  I needed to get everything for my hospital bag so I could stop obsessing about how I wasn't ready.  (My list was nearing 45 items long... overkill?  perhaps).  Now I have everything except a robe and it just needs to be packed.  I kind of feel like if I pack it, I will need it so I am holding out.

Clothes are becoming slightly more challenging in that I am growing out of the few maternity clothes that I have been wearing all the time.  I do have moments of panic about how big I've gotten but I am largely repeating to myself that this is temporary, the girls are getting nice and big and soon enough I can initiate the lose the baby weight plan.  Luckily I have a few dresses that will fit no matter how big my tummy chooses to get!

And now for the tummy...

This is the first maternity top that I bought... I'm pretty sure I am pushing its limits.

Here is a close up (and not a full side view) so I kind of think it actually makes me look smaller than I am.

The other things occupying my mind.... finalizing the decision to use a doula on the big day and then confirming one.

Happy Wednesday!

Just in case you missed it... here is the twin bump at 14 weeks, 16 weeks, 18 weeks, 22 weeks, 24 weeks and 28 weeks!

cutest slippers ever

These arrived today...

These are Padraig slippers and they are adorable.

The first time I saw a pair of these slippers in person was when my Brother-in-law stayed with us last Christmas.  He happens to be friends with the son of the Padraig creator and he loved his slippers.... and believe me... they looked very well loved... almost too well loved (for my picky taste).  Either way, they definitely looked comfortable.  Well a couple of months back I spotted two babies in two separate baby boutiques in Ottawa sporting baby legs + Padraig slippers.

I fell in love.

On to the registry they went!

Shipping was a tad on the slow side so they missed the shower but they arrived today as a wonderful surprise.

I can't wait to put them on Alice and Isla!

Okay so apparently Little One also loves the slippers

I hope you had a fabulous Tuesday!

the twins made my friday

Dear twins in my belly...

thank you for making my friday, or better yet... my weekend.

you are doing such a great job growing big in my tummy and seem to be so in sync with each other as you both weighed 2 pounds, 12 ounces which is wonderful!

you are also both head down.  perhaps you get your love of being upside down from me, who spent most of my childhood in a headstand or handstand position.  whatever it is, keep on doing it!

finally, you seem to be putting less pressure on mommy... as my cervix was nice and closed and not nearly as scary as it has been.

Daddy has been busy.  Busy tackling projects to make sure that you two have a wonderful nursery.  It is coming together so nicely and I find myself imagining how you will each look in the tiny clothes that we have for you.

We took you to a movie last night and you loved how much we laughed.

We can't wait to meet you but want you to stay put for another 6+ weeks.

xoxo mommy

Salmon Crocheted Heart by sabahnur via etsy

grandparent name game

In our house growing up, our grandparents were better known as Nan & Papa and Grandma & Grandpa.  Nan & Papa were my Mom's parents who lived three hours away and who we saw very often.  My memories of them are all warm and some hilarious.  Nan was known for sometimes doing things a little out of the ordinary... such as wrapping her entire body in toilet paper.  I never once saw her wash her hair... no... she had it done every week.  Papa put in a pool in their backyard but I never once saw him use it... it was for everyone else.  I remember big family dinners where I was served wine in a crystal liqueur glass when I was likely just old enough to climb up in my chair unassisted.  I remember playing with spoons in the bathtub and I remember how they always ended the night with a beer.

Grandma & Grandpa were my Dad's parents who lived on the other side of the country.  I can likely count the number of times I saw them on my two hands.  They seemed older and likely were since my Dad is the youngest of seven children.  I can't remember much about them unfortunately.  The only memory that sticks is of them visiting our house and how it was confusing and a bit sad since my Grandmother suffered from alzheimer's disease.  The other memories I have of them are related to the stories my Dad told me over the years about life growing up on the farm, the good, the bad and the ugly.

Andrew and I are lucky.  All of the soon-to-be grandparents live within a ten minute drive of our house.  We have three sets to contend with, which boils down to more love for the twins.

My Mom wants her and my Dad to follow in her parent's footsteps and be called Nan & Papa.  I think this suits them perfectly.  Now we have two other sets to name... Andrew's Mom and her Husband and Andrew's Dad and his Wife.

I have to say that I am a little stuck for ideas here besides the obvious Grandma & Grandpa.

What do / did you call your grandparents?  What would you have your children call your parents?

Nan & Papa... and me!

tummy worries

Today I am twenty nine weeks pregnant, which is almost thirty weeks pregnant, which is one step closer to the ideal of thirty six weeks pregnant.  As I mentioned yesterday in my shower re-cap, my tummy is currently measuring just over 40 inches at its largest point.  40 inches is wonderful since the babies must have lush and spacious living quarters at this point but 40 inches is also terrifying and this number will only increase in the weeks to come.  Everyone tells me that I am so lucky to be carrying just in my tummy and that I shouldn't give a single thought to worrying about my expanding waistline.

Well I am sorry, but I do.

To make matters worse I keep reading about this twin skin, which sounds worse than any horror movie I've ever endured.  Apparently it's a combination of stretch marks and super stretched skin which makes your tummy look like seersucker.  Horrible image indeed!

This whole you should embrace your new body postpartum ... to me ... is just not enough.  If I am not happy with myself, how will I give off good happy vibes to the twins and everyone else for that matter?

So I am formulating a plan.

You might think I am crazy vain, you might think I will forget all traces of said plan once Alice and Isla arrive... but having a plan will keep me sane.

First step in this plan.... breastfeeding.
Enough said.

Second step.... enter the bamboo belly bandit.  I spent yesterday researching belly compression options and what I found was very encouraging.  Apparently women all over the world have been binding their postpartum belly for centuries which will help reduce swelling, a distended uterus (which mine will certainly be) and generally help shrink you down without the sagging skin.

Third step... exercise.  My mom met another twin mom at the gym a couple of months and she told my mom to tell me that body pump will be my best friend postpartum.  I literally day dream of being able to run again and to be able to go to body attack.

If you are a mom do you have any tips, if you are pregnant do you share these worries and if kids aren't remotely on your radar how do you think you would feel in my place?

I would love to know!

Vanity A Print of the March Pin Up Girl by EmilyBalivet via etsy

twin baby shower

My Sister and my Mom hosted a twin baby shower for me this weekend.  It was fabulous!

I decided that a new dress for this occasion couldn't possibly be deemed as frivolous and made a slight detour on Friday to Queen Mother Maternity.  I was all ready on Saturday morning and all set to go and pick up a bouquet of flowers for the hostesses at Mill Street (my all time favorite florist).  Little did I know that there was some festival going on and the entire street would be closed... so I had to park really far away and I spent the walk feeling way too guilty for walking that far (and almost turned back twice)... but it was worth it.

I arrived to a house full of excited woman (many on their second glass of wine).... I fully believe that a shower without booze should be illegal and that even though I may not be fit to drink, everyone else certainly is!

My Mom found these favours online... little egg soaps in a nest... so cute!

Love the edible arrangement!

The amount of gifts and people...  slightly overwhelming!  The twins are two lucky little babies!

Nearing the end of the gift unwrapping... with my Sister Steph (who happens to be the only person I know brave enough to wear orange, I love it!)

soo.... just how big is my tummy?  well according to my aunt it's 40.5 inches of greatness!

Funniest moment of the day.... when they opened the first cake box and discovered that this shower was really supposed to be for Andrew!

We thought that the second cake must be for me... but alas no.... apparently it was also Andrew's birthday.  I have to say he was quite confused when he arrived and everyone started singing Happy Birthday!

My lovely Mom and I... thank you Mommy (yes I still call her that) for all of your hard work!

and the Daddy-to-be!

I threw this pic in so you could get a close up of the new dress... apparently it does double duty and is also good for nursing... I will have to figure out the strange slits at a later date.

I had a great day and am so grateful for all of the hard work that my Mom and Sister put into making this day so special for the twins and I.  It was so nice to see so many great people.  These types of days are never long enough but it is so great that they take place.

I will share more details of all of the great gifts that the twins received sometime soon!

Happy Tuesday!

heat wave

It is hot and I am loving it!  I have relocated from the couch to a mat outside on our new deck along with a few pillows, a wedge and a couple of books.  Restricted activity doesn't seem so harsh when I'm lying in the sun.

On the Ground by She Hit Pause via etsy

I hope your Monday was just as fabulous as mine!

time for a new do?

I am strongly considering bringing back the blonde.

well at least part of it.

The last time I was more blonde then brunette was at our wedding... almost three years ago.

I hope this isn't one of those I'm pregnant and making ridiculous decisions that would normally never cross my mind in my regular non hormone fueled life times.

We shall see...

Peabody No 4 by AmberGoshorn via etsy

Appointment is this afternoon... wish me luck!


ha I just noticed that I am blonde in my blog picture... thoughts?  (this was taken at my bachlorette party three years ago... clearly I was having quite the good time!)

what to wear?

This Saturday I will be the guest of honor at my twin baby shower graciously hosted by my Mom and my Sister.

I now have dilemma... a fashion dilemma. 

Normally I would have several in-closet options for such an event or I would go to one of my go-to Ottawa boutiques.  In this case I do have two options in the closet but I am so tired of wearing the same things, day after day since my options seem to be further depleted with every passing week due to the always growing belly.

So the dilemma.... do I suck it up and wear one of the maternity dresses that I have.... or do I embark on a mission to find something special?  The pre pregnant Ashley would have jumped at the opportunity to shop, but I am finding my current self torn now since I have less than 10 weeks in this pregnant body.

Oh and keep in mind that as of Tuesday morning my OB strictly forbid any frivolous outings... to which I replied, "Define frivolous please" and to which he responded "walking around a mall, leaving the house for non essential items".

Don't See Me by TheLightFantastic via etsy

I am thinking one trip to one boutique for one specific item could squeak by as essential.....

What would you do?