happy halloween

How do you do halloween?  Do you dress up, eat a ton of candy, try to out do your neighbor's halloween decorations?  Please tell me you're not one of those turn off all of the lights and pretend we're not at home Scrooge types... I mean just can't handle that.  I've always loved halloween... not in the dress up and throw a party way, but in the halloween movie way and in the look how cute all of the children ringing our doorbell look.... and then the oh god I want a child so bad way.  Luckily this year I can enjoy the costumes without the constant tug at my heart.

We didn't get costumes for Alice and Isla simply because everything was so huge for them!  Nan and Papa came through though with some halloween onesies.  I put them on them first thing this morning... managed to take a ton of pictures before Alice spit up on hers... which is now in the washing machine.

Now what's halloween without a black cat?  Okay so she isn't exactly all black but when I looked in the hallway and saw this, I couldn't resist!

Andrew carved up our three pumpkins last night.... while I drank a bottle... I mean glass... of wine (mommy needs to relax sometimes too).

Happy Halloween!

coloured pants? yes please

It's been way too long since I've bought something a bit daring, a bit outside of my comfort zone... but a bit fabulous.

enter coloured pants.

I think I love these...

J Brand 29" Skinny via Anthropologie

Okay so they are blue, so not exactly super daring but they aren't denim at least.  The 29" ankle length also makes them a tad impractical for our soon to be blistering cold weather but that's what boots are for right?

At $176 I am not jumping at them since I wouldn't want to buy them in my present size (as in the size I am 12 weeks post delivery of twins)... but if say they are available when I return or come close to my former size then I may take the plunge.

What are your thoughts on coloured pants?  Love them?  Have them? .... or find them tacky?

Happy weekend!

first night out, sans babies

Andrew and I hadn't been out of the house alone since I was pregnant.  That changed on Saturday night.  We planned this date night about a week in advance.  My parents were to babysit.  There was a slight hiccup in said plan when poor Alice turned out to have tummy issues that translated into hours of screaming.  The parental unit (well I guess grand-parent unit) thought that if the screaming ensured perhaps a lunch date would be better then a real date night.  Luckily we found a system that seemed to be working for Alice and come Saturday night when they arrived... she was sleeping.

Originally we thought we would go for dinner and a movie.  We re-thought that plan as that would have meant a very quick dinner out pre movie as I can only be away from a baby or a pump for max 3 hour increments unless I want to be uncomfortable and a hot mess.  So we ended up making reservations at an Italian restaurant 10 minutes away.

I'd been contemplating trying on a pair of non maternity jeans for a week or so so I dragged them out before the last feeding pre date refusing to try them on until the final hour so I wouldn't stew if they didn't fit.  I was secretly terrified that if they didn't fit I might fall into a slump but rationalized trying them on by promising myself more wine while out if that was the case. Luckily when the time came to try on those jeans they did fit and I felt like I'd just won the lottery... so so so satisfying.

When we left I was apparently mildly frantic with my in case this happens.... or don't forget to.... I mean this wasn't the first time I'd left them with someone else... I do go to the gym during the day and everything is always fine while I am away... but this time it just seemed different.

My Mom made me promise not to talk about the babies while we were out.  We were supposed to have a real break.

I would like to say that I kept that promise but clearly I would be lying.  We did manage to have a great time though.  I might have came home mildly intoxicated (god what a year of being away from the booze can do to your tolerance!!) but I definitely came home feeling lighthearted and closer to Andrew than ever.

It was a great night out.

even if it did only last for two hours.

coming home to a still sleeping baby.... amazing!

becoming claire dunphy

I love Modern Family.  It is one of the few shows that we actually look forward to and watch on a regular basis. Well something funny has been happening... well funny or frightening depending on how you look at it.

I think I am becoming Claire.

Yes Claire... the stay at home mother of three with the uber frustrating but sometimes loveable husband.  You know... the one who bikes after speeding cars, goes door to door to try to get a new stop sign put in, strives day in and day out to get her son to wear pants, ends up stuck on an escalator in public with a trench coat on (and nothing else) while role playing on a date night with her husband, tries to be the fun one with her son and ends up with a van full of puke and the one who constantly strives for perfection yet often fails.  Yes that's her.

I came to this realization over the course of last week, when I watched the first season on my laptop while breastfeeding (breastfeeding twins boils down to lots of boob time for them).  I started looking at Claire in a new light.  Gone was my former irritation with her, and instead was replaced with a new found understanding and appreciation for her and for her constantly pony-tailed hair and the fact that she almost exclusively wears luon workout pants.  I knew when I spotted her in a purple hoodie and thought... hmm I should get myself one of those at american apparel... that I was done for.

Yes, yes I know... she's a fictional character... but really... I think she's awesome.

soo... scary revelation... maybe....but she's normalizing the chaos of my life day after day, and doing it in style (well I now consider her stylish seeing as I've traded in my skinny black work pants for skinning luon lululemon pants).... so thank you claire dunphy for living your fictional life and making my life feel that much more normal.

via

tummy time

to me this just looks frustrating...

but they seem to get a kick out of it...

happy monday!

my nursing must haves

I feel like nursing is like pregnancy... it's fleeting (well for me anyways as I can't see myself nursing for longer than six months to a year) and because it's fleeting it's hard to justify buying lots of nursing clothing and gear.  I could see it being more justifiable if say you didn't have twins, it didn't take a team of medical experts and a lot of cash to get you pregnant and you were therefore contemplating future offspring.... however, that happens to be my reality so this will likely (never say never) be my only bout of nursing.

Here are a few things that have made my nursing experience that much better....

nursing by ashleyizsak on polyvore.com

2 Pair Regular Bamboobies Nursing Pads
Boob - B Warmer Hoodie Red Flame - Baby Shop
Natural Nipple Butter - organic and all natural nipple cream for sore...
Boob Nursing Singlet White | Stockholm Objects
Bebe au Lait Shop: Mosaic Nursing Cover
nneka nursing pillow green floral - $CAD60.00 : Toronto baby store....

Yes I know you can nurse in your regular clothes.  It may mean exposing your back and tummy to the elements which in our city means weather that is borderline chilly now but will soon turn to a deep down cold to the bone cold.  Nursing tops just make the whole experience that much more convenient and that much more comfortable.

So far I have three nursing tanks and one nursing hoodie.  I love love love the hoodie.  I love it so much in fact that I am trying to track down another one online on sale.

The bamboobies are amazing I promise you.  So so superior to any other nursing pads that I've tried.

The nursing cover is definitely a must have in my opinion.  It would be wonderful if everyone just breastfeed freely in public but unfortunately such is not the case so I will stick it out with the cover.  I tell the girls that they are camping as it is essentially a big tent over them that I can peak into.

The Nneka nursing pillow is a new purchase (well a gift from Nan & Papa).  I was in a local store (the Extraordinary Baby Shoppe) the other day when Isla suddenly demanded to eat right then and there.  Luckily they are well prepared for instances like this and quickly offered me a comfy chair and this pillow to use.  I was hooked.  It is so much more user friendly compared to the gigantic my breast friend twin nursing pillow that I have.

That's it so far.  Am I missing anything?

Happy Friday

i'm going to need one of these tomorrow

Coffee Art by PopPopPhotography via etsy

Normally I go to bed after their last evening feeding... which happened about two hours ago... but tonight I just felt like I needed a bit of free time... even if it means sacrificing sleep.  The good news is... our happy baby is re-emerging thanks to all of the great advice I received on here yesterday and our trip to our naturopath.

What's worked....

Cocyntal for Baby Colic.... one word... priceless ... seriously this stuff has magic powers.  When the screaming starts we give her this and the effect seems to be near instantaneous.

When we feed her we are only burping her by rubbing her back in an upwards motion.  The spit up has greatly decreased.

We are now keeping her sitting upright for a good fifteen minutes post feed.

We are giving them probiotic powder

We will also start to give her gripe water whenever I get to the store and buy some.... oh and yes I know I can make it but my lack of spare time dismisses this idea outright.

Our Naturopath's take is that perhaps my let down is just too fast at this point for Alice to handle so she likely ends up gulping down a ton of air while trying to keep up when nursing.  This is definitely aggravating her already irritated tummy.  So I am nursing her in the am once to keep her great latching skills going and then I am feeding her through the anti colic tommee tippee bottle the rest of the day.  I will only do this for another week and then try out more nursing in hopes that her growth will allow her to handle my flow.

So today life was so much better, it's amazing what a lack of hours of crying can do.  Let's hope that this concoction does the trick tomorrow, and the next day... and the next day....

goodnight

how do you know if your baby has colic?

Oh we started off so well.  Both babies were breastfeeding so well and seemed quite happy most of the day.  Yes they cried sometimes... all babies cry sometimes...  but in the last week... Alice has taken it up several notches and throughout the day her cries go from normal (as in what she's been doing up until now) to full fledged screaming where I think there must be something going on.  This all started about a week ago when she would start to nurse, be good for about ten minutes and then start wailing.  She has been spitting up a ton also.  I had to start supplementing her with expressed breastmilk which isn't ideal as it means I have to pump every feeding for her and I am just not ready for her to no longer breastfeed.  I mean if feeding her expressed milk with a bottle is the only option then that's fine but I am hoping it isn't.  In terms of bottles we have had to feed her solely with the tommee tippee anti colic bottle... their regular bottles seem to add to the spit up issue.

Last night she cried from oh about 4 o'clock to about 8 o'clock..... not a fun night.

I ended up running to the store and buying some homeopathic colic remedy.  We gave her one dose last night and she seemed happy the rest of the night however Andrew was out all night at a work function and that dose was given when he got home so part of me is wondering whether she just wanted her Daddy.

Either way there is something up with her tummy and I am hoping to get to the bottom of it asap.

We have an appointment with our naturopath tomorrow so hopefully she will be able to help us out.  I have read that regular GPs often overdiagnose infant GERD or reflux and prescribe Zantac.  Um Zantac to my two month old... I think not!

Now I thought that colic was something you were born with and began very soon after birth... do you know if this is right or is it possible to develop a couple of months into life?

help... please....

love this

by Pixelcloud via etsy

Okay so perhaps my Mondays aren't so intimidating... so daunting.... or so dreaded.  They used to be.  But now Mondays are just another day... another wonderful day that may involve a continuous race to get things done between feedings, changings, and lots of swaying... but a day that includes lots of smiles, cuddles and (more recently) a giggle or two.

Last week we got some news that makes us one step closer to me not going back to my job.... we refinanced our mortgage.  Okay so not exactly thrilling but now when I walk out of our grocery store and see the posted mortgage rates I no longer have to mentally swear because I feel like we are being robbed.  Step two...figure out what else I can do to make money while caring for two babies...

Happy monday!

flowers in october

Today Isla and Alice have been amazing babies.  I mean they generally are awesome but today they slept and slept well, were on their best behaviour when we spent the morning with our friend Cindy at a little cafe in Manotick, ate well and were super generous with their smiles.  They were so great in fact that I had time to check out some new blogs (well new to me), to go to a body attack class once Andrew got home, and to peruse etsy.. which I am sad to say has been sorely neglected by me as of late.  

I would love to get some new prints in this house to freshen things up (and I might just be guilty of having a new print, all wrapped up, sitting on top of our fridge... waiting for me to frame it).

Like any woman I love flowers, especially the flowers from a specific local florist that arrive on non important days... but what I love more than flowers is gorgeous pictures of flowers (they last much much longer....)

Magenta Flowers by ZoiShop via etsy

Cherry Blossoms by ZoiShop via etsy

Dogwood Flowers by ZoiShop via etsy

Happy Thursday

my mom broke both of her feet... a week after the twins were born

I have wanted to share this for a while now but honestly couldn't bare to write it.  A week after Alice and Isla were born I called my parents house (as I do every day) and got my sister.  She told me not to panic but that Mommy (yes we still call our Mom Mommy) fell and broke one of her feet and oh the other foot too.  My immediate thoughts bordered on hysteria but I do remember thinking that I should send her a flat of milk (I mean who breaks both of her feet!!).  Unfortunately as far as breaks go she did a real number on herself.  One foot was not so major, the other was broken in two places and required pins and pins and pins and oh 8 to 12 weeks to recover.

I was devastated.

I was selfishly devastated for myself.  I mean I wanted my Mom here, with me, when Andrew went back to work, all. of. the. time.  I was also devastated for my Mom.  She wanted to be here too and now she could not only not be here but she also had to deal with being caged up in their house in a wheelchair for close to two months.

I was so emotional those first couple of weeks with the baby blues and then with this on top of it.  All I can say is poor, poor Andrew.

I can now write about this because the first boot came off a couple of weeks ago and the hard cast came off after that and suddenly Nan was here... yesterday... and everything felt right in my world once again.

Luckily, Andrew's Mom lives near by and was with us so so much those first few weeks (and still comes by often to help), otherwise I'm not sure what we would have done.  I am totally at home now by myself with the twins but those first few weeks there was a learning curve and it was great to have someone here with me through it.

My Mom is still sporting crutches but can now drive and get up and down the stairs.  We are so so happy to have her back.

winning a baby... or a chance at a baby

I don't love the radio... I mean I like the music but loath the chit chat... especially the morning shows.  I mean really, it should be illegal to be that perky that early and this is coming from someone who likes mornings and does not require caffeine to do so.  We have a local radio station that often puts out big contests... you know the type of thing they advertise at least five times an hour.  Normally these contests involve some big obscure challenge and normally I don't pay any attention to them.

Well a few weeks back I started to hear about a win a baby contest.  My immediate reaction was that they should never call the contest win a baby.  I mean you can't win a baby.  If you have trouble conceiving a child you can't just magically get one.  Life would be so much easier if it worked that way.

This contest should have been called win a chance at a baby, or win medical help to conceive a child or win hope.  So I have an issue with the name... but I think it is great that they created this contest in the first place.  So many people are so blissfully unaware (I was one of such people) that so many of us go through infertility struggles and that these struggles can cost a lot of money and even then there is no guarantee that you will be granted your wish, to conceive a child (or two).  I have to admit that I really didn't follow along with all of the hype leading up to the winning announcement only because I usually change the radio station when someone starts talking (yes I am an advertiser's nightmare), however I was drawn to the winning replay online through facebook.

It made me cry.

Yes I can put on a great mask of indifference but when it comes to this topic, that is way to close to home, I get all emotional and wonder who is this person, crying about a radio contest winning announcement replay?

There were five finalists that you apparently could vote for online.  They all won.

I am cheering for these five couples, hoping this win actually does amount to a real live baby.  I am also silently cheering for the station, for putting this out there, making people realize that just relaxing does not always get you pregnant.

Want a good cry?  Take a listen... win a baby replay

Newborn Feet by cherylzibisky via etsy

turkey coma

This is Andrew... post several hours golfing in the sun (umm where was the sunscreen?) + a couple beers and a couple of glasses of wine + one turkey dinner.

My parents repeatedly told him to go downstairs, find a bed and take a nap... but he thought that would be rude... so instead he grabbed Alice (one of two super cuddly babies that we have) and leaned back for a minute to rest.  Well he was out a minute later and we were snapping away at the two of them.

turkey... coma...

Lesson learned.

have a warm weekend

This weekend is Thanksgiving weekend here in Canada and we will be celebrating with two family dinners.  I have been living in such drab clothing as of late simply because I always need to have easy access to the boobs and also because I am still wearing safe clothes... safe as in I know they will fit (read lululemon pants and maternity jeans)... boring.  With thanksgiving here I am thinking I should ditch the regular tees and try to find something semi interesting in my closet.

I am loving these colourful options for fall...

Dromedary Dress via Anthropologie... I love the shape of this

This Flounced Pintuck Parka would add some punch to my blah outfits these days

Love the relaxed look of this Lombok Tote... if only I didn't need the diaper bag!

We also plan on taking our first trip to a restaurant with Isla and Alice in tow.  We are thinking somewhere loud and greasy for breakfast.  Sounds wonderful doesn't it!  Luckily we have lovely friends who are going to brave this first with us.  Wish us luck!

Happy Thanksgiving to all of your Canadians.  Have a wonderful weekend.

two months old

dear alice and isla,

You are two months old and you look so big to me now.  You hold up your heads more and more.  You smile when I smile... sometimes.  Every day you do something new.  

I kind of want a pause button.

You are both over eight pounds and I am constantly surprised that you just keep on growing from breastfeeding.  I mean you must be sneaking in extra feedings somehow.

I love our routine... or perhaps we should call it our anti-routine since we all know that just going with the flow works way better for all of us.

oh and I will let you in a little secret... the doctor doesn't think that you are identical anymore either!

How's that for a twist!

xoxo mommy

oh the things I said I would never do and have done

Back before I had babies I was a judge-er... as in I would look at what other people did with their children and mentally judge them... okay I still do that to a certain extent but I stand corrected in many of my former childless assumptions.

I was never going to give my babies a pacifier... never.  I mean wouldn't that cause nipple confusion?  Wouldn't they become addicted to the pacifier and end up sucking on it well into their toddler years like Suri Cruise?  Well I threw out these fears a couple of weeks ago and we tried to give each of them a soother.  Isla was adamantly against something that she could suck and yet would not feed her.  Alice on the other hand... it was more like love at first sight.  As soon as she gets it in her mouth her eyes start to droop.  

Oh and they still take the boob like they were made for it (which in fact they were)...

so so good...

I was convinced that our babies would not get flat head syndrome.  Flat head syndrome happened to babies of parents who left them constantly in their car seat or constantly lying down.  I was going to wear my babies constantly, never leave them in the car seat outside of the car and thus they would never suffer the dreaded flat head.  Well I love my sleepy wrap and so do they, we hold them constantly, we never leave them in the car seat and voila... Isla has a mad case of flat head syndrome on one side of her head!!!  

Damn.

here she is propped onto her other side in hopes that things will even out...

I would never never ever dress them the same.  They aren't the same person, so why would I ever put them in the same clothing.  Well we live in Ontario and it gets cold here.  We spent the better part of Saturday out shopping for cold weather gear for Isla and Alice and it was tough.  As in they are small and most outdoor one piece-ers come in size 0-6 months which is a large range.  We came home with two matching fleeces from MEC and tried them on them.... way too big.  I found two matching 0-3 month-ers at Joe Fresh on Sunday and they fit much better.  Apparently companies don't make a plethora of colour options when it comes to fleece... so matching they are.

This is a one time occurrence... I swear.

and Isla's propped up once again...

So apparently all of that judging was naive on my part.  At this point if it makes our lives easier I am all for it.

Happy Wednesday!