Calmly Chaotic

my new favourite jeans

2012-02-28T10:06:00.000-05:00

I have a serious case of the winter take two blahs. I mean we could see our back deck just a few days ago and now all we see is snow. Clearly the groundhog was wrong this year. Winter is here for a while more.

Of course I have a few things around to keep me smiling... two of them being of the baby variety and another in the form of a new favourite pair of jeans. The last pair of jeans that I bought was a year ago and they were maternity jeans. Come Christmas my Mom was lightly suggesting that I should pick out a new pair of jeans (I mean maybe I was walking around in jeans that were literally falling down... maybe)... So I did some couch browsing and found that shopbop carried my forever favourite Ava jeans. They arrived Christmas morning in a box from my parents. Unfortunately when I put them on I realized that they were just too straight and just not skinny enough so I sent them back. A couple of weekends ago my Mom and I made the trek to Holt Renfew (where I actually felt like I was in a museum of sorts .... my.... have things ever. changed) and I tried on the Paige Verdugo jeans. Loved them. They look great and are super flexible... which is a must when you spend half your day rolling around on the floor.

via

yeah I didn't get them in mint... mine are lighthouse... but I'm liking the mint too.

do you have a pair of favourite wear until they split down the butt jeans?

i have the appetite of a lumberjack

2012-02-23T08:16:00.000-05:00

Yeah Andrew threw that line out there the other day.... something along the lines of Ash... you have the appetite of a lumberjack. I initially took offense. But I think it's kind of true. I eat constantly and find myself strategizing throughout the day what I will eat next. It's kind of like I am pregnant (minus the chicken mcnuggetts + dairy queen milkshake + pizza kind of days... yeah... I had those) ... only I'm not. I'm feeding two babies... but I often wonder if this appetite will ever suppress.. back to my I only eat to sustain myself (kind of) days.

Andrew is the good food lover. I am (was) more the I eat because I need to type. In our house growing up I got the child's portion... because I wouldn't eat more than that... and it kind of stuck forever... well until I got pregnant. Now I look at what Andrew plans on eating and ask him to put more than that on my plate.

so maybe I do eat like a lumberjack right now... and food tastes so damn good.

are you breastfeeding and perpetually hungry? tell me I'm not the only one!

everything she makes looks amazing! via smitten kitchen

on keeping the magic alive after babies

2012-02-22T10:36:00.000-05:00

I've always believed that you have to put effort into something to make it good and if you want it to keep being good, you have to keep putting that effort in.

Enter TV free tuesdays.

A few weeks back Andrew and I had a date night (funny how I use to think the term date night was a corny term used to define specific time spent with a husband... I mean why would you need a term when you did that all of the time... well I need that term now since date nights are necessary and do define when we actually spend quality one on one time together) after this date night I thought about how nice it was to spend time together away from the television, internet... you know... all of that technological noise... and proposed a perma date night... tv free tuesdays.

Andrew was game so tuesdays were officially declared tv and internet free in the evenings.

what a difference.

Don't get me wrong. We aren't sloths who sit idly in front of the tv day in and day out... but come 7 pm it is just so easy to through effort out the window and fall into a routine of laziness. I mean we have tons of quality family time together but our habit was to eat dinner and then sit on the couch and watch tv (or blog, or surf well usually both at the same time for me).

So far we've spent tuesdays doing yoga videos, having actual good conversations and throwing back a few glasses of good wine (okay the wine is likely cheap but the fact that it is wine makes it good).

Of course I sort of forget that we decided this every week and then come tuesday morning when I think about the day to come I realize that tonight will be quality...

Maybe we are the only ones who watch tv way too much... maybe not. But if you are like us, I dare you to try it. I think you will love it.

I know I do.

The End by EllaKSverdlov via etsy

chaotic recap... seventh edition

2012-02-17T11:05:00.000-05:00

Oh what a wonderful week.

If only Andrew could take a day off work every week...

this was our Valentine's Day...

We played inside. We went for a long walk outside.

I took a million pictures...

We opened presents...

and Andrew cooked... and made chocolate dipped strawberries... with PC the decadent chocolate chips... best way to eat fruit ever.

and after we put the girls to bed...

we had our own stay-at-home date

during dinner I remember saying that this was the best Valentine's day ever... and I meant it ... and we've had some spa filled, gourmet restaurant style vdays of past.... this one topped them all.

the rest of the week seems to pale in comparison but here goes...

I've realized lately that there are far too few pictures of me + the girls... since I am often the one taking the photos... so I will have to get all preggo self portrait style and shoot me some pictures in the mirror...

Alice looked a little confused at this whole approach

like Mommy, what are we even doing? You point the camera at my face not at that shiny reflective thingy!

sorry but Mommy's gotta do what Mommy's gotta to do to prove that she was here... through all of this...

don't worry... the camera will still mostly be pointed at you...

so I can catch faces like this one.

and so I can catch you two in the act of talking to each other

of making each other laugh...

and the things you do to reassure each other that you are here...

I will never get tired of watching that.

....

I received a surprise in the mail this week....

Michelle whom I guest posted for last friday said she sent a little something in the mail.... well it turned out to be a lot more then a little something! I can't wait to try out all of this stuff with the girls! (especially the memory foam changing pad... that pad looks comfy!)

........

Alice has decided she prefers to feed herself... here's a little play by play of how that discovery went down...

where's my food?

I'm gonna eat this strap if you don't hurry up!

Mommy!

alright... that worked out just as I'd planned... Mommy came at me with that thing that puts food in my mouth and I successfully stole it from her!

now if I shove it far back in my mouth will the food just fall off?

come on food, fall off already!

what is this whole using my mouth to lick off the spoon deal that Mommy keeps talking about?

oh well... mission accomplished for today... I'll tackle that whole getting food off the spoon on my own thing another day.

....

yesterday we got some good news...

Andrew got a new job...

at his current job...

so I felt like baking (and drinking wine)...

blueberry muffins yum....

happy weekend!

we got high chairs

2012-02-16T21:33:00.000-05:00

We started off by feeding the girls in the bumbo... on top of our dining table... yes yes I know.... never put a bumbo on top of a table... sketchy... but we did it... well supervised of course... while we were waiting for our boon flair high chairs to arrive...

and arrive they did.

Heidi is guarding them. We could have used her outside when they arrived since instead of ringing our doorbell the delivery man decided to leave them next door, leaned against their door... in the snow... lovely.

yeah... I put them together... it took 5 minutes.

voila!

they're a hit.

and worth the wait.

ps. yes that's a scrunchie in my hair... don't judge me until you have sticky hands pulling at your hair all day.

bring on the food!

love day surprise

2012-02-14T10:13:00.000-05:00

I woke up this morning and Andrew was going to get up to get ready to go to work... only he didn't

he surprised me by booking the day off... to spend Valentine's day with us...

via

did I mention that he's making spaghetti + meatballs for dinner tonight... as I type...

i love this man.

happy valentine's!

making friends

2012-02-13T14:23:00.000-05:00

step one... approach the person / cat of interest...

step two: establish something in common... in this case a mutual desire to see what exactly the other breathing being is...

step three: dive right in with abandon...

if only it was this easy for everyone.

i'm not here today

2012-02-10T14:05:00.000-05:00

I know... I wasn't here yesterday, or the day before, or the day before... but today I am somewhere else... online that is. Michelle from Barla Banana asked me to share my infertility story over on her blog. Michelle is a fellow Canadian and her shop carries some great brands. She also blogs over here about her life, children and renos included.

so pop on over and read my story and while you're at it check out her shop.

....

I may not be here but Alice and Isla have insisted that I include a few photos... I mean what kind of mother would I be if I let a week go by without posting pictures of their fleeting moments as babies... not the kind that gets lots and lots of smiles... so here goes...

Happy Weekend!

six months old + the birth story

2012-02-06T22:38:00.000-05:00

Alice and Isla are six months old today.

they are just so. big.. now.

and I am finally sharing their birth story.

I used to wonder why new moms didn't post their birth story like the day after they gave birth... I mean I wanted to read all about it right away... what could they possibly be doing that would prevent them from sharing the nitty gritty details of the birth of their child right away. I was perplexed.

and here I am six months post delivery... finally putting that amazing day to paper.. or well to computer screen..

I just could not do it until now. The day of their birth, the four nights at the hospital and the two weeks that followed are so precious in my mind. I doubt I will ever do that day justice... but I will try.

...

this story starts with a bang.... literally. I mean I was past due with twins in August and people were looking at me like I was insane for walking around that pregnant. It was time. We took matters into our own hands and it did the trick.

Now we tried the same routine the week before and went to triage and were sent home so I wasn't exactly confident that this was the real deal. I had been having contractions on and off for a few days but suddenly they were coming much more regularly and definitely much stronger. We stayed home initially and tracked my contractions online while I road them out in the tub. Eventually when they weren't letting up Andrew phoned our doula Anna. She suggested we get to the hospital.

We were ready. We were packed. Andrew had an arsenal of 5 hour energy drinks and red bull and we were so hoping this was go time. I grabbed a jumbo blue freezie and to the car we went.

I remember trying to down that freezie in the parking garage of the hospital.

We headed up to triage and they assessed me. I was 5 cm at that point and my contractions were every two minutes and lasting a minute.

it was go time. it was 9 pm.

We called Anna and she was on her way. While we waited for her we were admitted and brought to a labour and delivery room. Andrew downed a 5 hour energy and was ready to go. The contractions at this point were painful but manageable and once Anna arrived they became even more manageable.

Our first nurse came in and tried to convince me she needed to run a line just in case. I stalled, trying my best to avoid the chain reaction that I so dreaded (first step line, second step epidural, third step pitocin, fourth step c-section). They were firm that I had to be hooked up to the monitors at all times which was a dissappointment at the time. Having anything on your tummy while having contractions is highly unpleasant and that also meant that I couldn't labour in the tub. Luckily I was still able to get up and walk near the bed as I soon found out that I couldn't bear to be lying down through a contraction.

Andrew was amazing. Anna was amazing. If you are pregnant go and get a doula, just do it, don't question it.

Anna and Andrew helped me through the next few hours. She was so great at getting me to focus on what I needed to do to get through each one and Andrew was so great at supporting me.

At about midnight the doctor came and and I was still hovering at 5 cm. She pushed me to break my water and I caved. I so wanted to avoid a c-section and the guilt they push on you is crazy. I thought that breaking my water would move things along so we went with it.

Breaking your water is painless. Standing up to a new contraction and puking from the pain after having your water broken is insane. The whole manageable pain thing was over. I remember standing in the washroom and wondering if I could die from the pain. I am not saying this to scare you. I didn't actually think I would die but I remember just being so mad at myself at the time for letting them break my water.

Soon after my water was broken the anesthesiologist popped by. He was hilarious and totally fine with my insistance that I not have an epidural. After three hours of this whole new pain level I changed my tune. This was such a hard decision for me but Andrew and Anna reassured me that it was up to me and that I wasn't letting anyone down by getting it.

At 3:30 am I got the epirdural. I didn't feel a thing... and then I felt relief... and then I felt wonderful.

the thing is magic. as much as I hate to admit it. I was oh so against it. I was not going to be one of those women who caved. but I was. and it was wonderful. and I don't regret it.

For the next couple of hours the three of us relaxed.... we had naps... listened to music.

when they checked me I was 10 cm.

apparently my body just needed a bit of rest to get where it needed to be.

it wasn't quite pushing time yet. One of the girls was sideways and the doctors told me the epidural had softened up my contractions and that I would require stronger contractions to push her into the right position. They convinced me to take pitocin (I was kind of living my nightmare but they kept throwing out the threat of a section which I would avoid at all costs) so I went with it. I am still sort of torn on this decision more because I don't feel that it was entirely necessary. Either way her position was righted and after a little stalling on their part to get to a shift change they decided to let me push in the labour and delivery room to get things going.

This lasted a very short time. Apparently Anna's crash course on pushing to me in the delivery room did wonders and I was too good at it. She was coming out... I had to stop pushing. We had to go to the operating room. This is standard procedure at many hospitals so that they can allow for a double set up in case of an emergency c section.

I felt like I was on the set of greys anatomy. It felt like there were twenty people in that room but to be honest, it really didn't bother me. It was like Andrew, Anna and I were in our own little bubble and we had our pushing routine down and were ready to get this done and meet these girls.

It took about twenty minutes and we met our first little girl. That first scream was amazing. I will always remember that scream. I remember wondering how all of this was possible. How amazing it all was. They layed her on me right away for just a second and things suddenly felt so different. After the first baby was born they vaccumed the second down (not out). This is the only part of the birth experience that still irks me as I don't feel it was necessary. I pushed her out after that quite quickly and her scream was just as wonderful.

I was lucky. There was no c-section. There was no tearing. I delivered our girls the way I wanted to even if some of the details weren't what I had hoped for.

That day was perfect. If I could do it again I would in a heart beat. I would not change one thing.

six months later and life is pretty perfect.

chaotic recap... sixth edition

2012-02-03T09:18:00.001-05:00

Last weekend we did something that was a big deal...

for me...

we relocated the girls...

to their room...

I pictured confused faces staring at us + crying if we dared to even think about leaving the room with them in it.

I thought we would have to move in and sleep on a mattress on the floor for a while.

well Friday night we put them into their crib and slowly backed out of the room...

not a peep..

not one cry...

Andrew made fun of me as I hovered over our video monitor teasing me about needing to jump into action at the first whimper.

that night was hard for me. clearly they were ready, but I was not.

they grow up so fast.

They are big into the solids now. So big in fact that Alice stares up at me and munches with her mouth as if to say, get that boob out of my face and give me the stuff that comes on a spoon!

we're still waiting on the high chairs... apparently they've cleared customs... could they get here already so we can stop with the sketchy bumbos + chairs combo that I know you will judge me for!

I find myself wondering how long I will continue to breastfeed. I am pretty determined to make it to a year... but then what... do they still need some sort of milk after that... pretty sure... and how long do they drink from a bottle... maybe we should give them a sippy cup... but will that confuse them?

Last weekend we had a little birthday party here for my Mom.

this also marked the night of Isla's first beer...

we are getting close to being able to sit up on our own. Just a few more weeks i think...

I'm in no rush. It's so easy to contain them right now. First comes sitting, next comes crawling.... !!

we're spending a ton of time reading, Alice stares right at the pages and Isla tries to eat them.

Their faces keep changing...

especially Alice's...

those eyes!

love Isla's little round face

so does Heidi!

what is that furry thing?

Mommy, what is it?

I hope you have a fabulous weekend!

We'll be busy laughing with these two.

Happy Friday!

luging

2012-01-31T07:42:00.000-05:00

Isla has decided to start training early for her future luging career...

every time we strip off her pants she assumes the "luging" position...

then she likes to freestyle a little...

a little more...

then she gets all calm and gets all "what are you looking at... I am just training for my future luging days"

I assume she is reviewing her technique...

and back to luging we go...

changing her has become a chorus of us shouting out "luging!!!"

the only question remaining is whether it will be singles or whether Alice will get in on the plan and go doubles.

happy tuesday!

chaotic recap... fifth edition

2012-01-27T08:01:00.000-05:00

This week has been full of sunny days, long walks outside with the girls, long naps inside with the girls and little bodies growing bigger and bigger.

I can't believe how much her face has filled out. Some think that they are starting to look more alike. I think not. To me they are always two very different little beings.

I think her eyes are changing. They seem to be getting darker. The drooling has subsided... it seems the teeth are playing shy and are going to make us wait a little longer.

This toy is amazing. Every baby needs one.

Alice has officially realized that she has feet and is really quite taken with them.

We've almost outgrown this sleeper... for the second time. Yes I bought the same sleeper in a bigger size because I loved it on her in the small size, I love it on her in the bigger size and if they still have it in the store I plan on loving it on her in the even bigger size.

It's like one day I am looking at their feet in the jolly jumper and the next I am moving that jolly jumper up to yet another higher position. It's crazy how fast they grow. up.

this is the way things go down these days... isla or alice sees a toy, a utensil, a sleeve and must immediately grab it and put it in their mouth. This fraggle didn't see it coming.

We call this the baby sandwich (psst. they can nurse like this too)... it only took five months but we finally figured out the whole tandem nursing thing and honestly... we all prefer the one on one

I hope you had a lovely week.

I know we did.

Happy Friday.

we ate food

2012-01-24T08:01:00.000-05:00

and it was delicious!

who knew organic brown rice cereal could taste so damn good....

mommy and daddy have been holding out on us!

....

yes, that's right... we fed them the solid stuff

well sort of solid if mush counts for solid

we sat them in their bumbos (we ordered high chairs on friday... I'm excited!!)... we mixed that mush up... we approached the babies...

they ate that mush like they were made to do it

they took down 2 tbps together yesterday

well, they must have strategized last night because today...

they ate 4 tbps each

solid foods, here. we. come

chaotic recap... holiday edition

2012-01-20T08:01:00.002-05:00

better late then never right?

here goes...

I think the word obscene might come to mind... this sea of presents was ridiculous!

strategizing..

alice: you grab the cat while I get this ribbon undone
isla: what's the cat?

all decked out in their first christmas sleepers... and bibs... yeah they match... so what, it's christmas

um mommy should I be drinking this?

alice giving papa the stare down

christmas begins with a cocktail in our house! my parents always drank caesars christmas morning growing up but i prefer the bubbly!

I started baking these last christmas morning... and I've been addicted ever since... cranberry orange muffins from williams sonoma... yum yum.

it's the silliest moments that make the best memories...

pretty sure that I was getting all mommy emotional (oh god can you believe we have two) on him right here...

grandma thanks for the tag, I love it... now what is this thing on my head...

christmas dinner at my parent's house.

leave it to my drama student sister to have us all acting mad for a photo (apparently I suck at mad)

followed up with the kissy face... (I think I need to start wearing lipstick!)

and then Christmas day was over... their first Christmas was a busy one but a fabulous one.

and then we had Andrew to ourselves for another week...

we had our first new years...

we spent it at home with good friends, playing board games.

we've come so far in a year.

hope your holidays were just as happy.

ashley does daycare

2012-01-18T08:01:00.001-05:00

Do you remember when I wondered... out loud... whether I would go back to work? I don't think I ever, for a second, seriously thought I could do it. and I'm not going to. how could I ever leave them.

instead... I'm doing daycare.

I'm doing it.

don't try to convince me not to.

my mind is made up

Two babies are wonderful and by caring for two more we will be able to keep up with our life... financially speaking. I want to take in two. I would love to take in two the same age as our girls. In a perfect world I will take in twins.

So I am starting to research, to plan and to mentally draw pictures of what this will all look like.

The girls are only five months old so I still have more than half of my maternity leave to work things out.

do I need a name? will the main play room take over the office or will it be in the basement? what colour should we paint this room? what furniture should we buy? how will I get them to the park every day? will we go on outings other than the park? what will I feed them? where will they sleep? will our girls actually be on a nap schedule at that point?

we need more books.

operation daycare is now in session... you may think I'm crazy

... I kind of sort of think that I will love it.

Painting in Progress by KatieLloydPhoto via etsy

have ideas, advice, words of wisdom, words of caution... please do share!

thank god for the bachelor

2012-01-16T21:36:00.000-05:00

This morning the girls decided that it was sleepless in Ottawa ...

i won't bore you with the gritty details but i will tell you that I have never looked forward to two mindless hours of the bachelor with such gusto.

thank you ben for having a slew of ridiculously dramatic women vying for your attention, thank you for not coming off (yet) as a slick and slimy man, and thank you woman (I think your name is Chantal) that works at the morgue from Brad's season for crashing this bachelor party and making this drama filled season all the better..

via

bachelor 1, ashley's frustration... gone

... and I even painted my nails

what's your favourite form of mindless entertainment?

why you should always listen to your gut when it comes to your children... and your boobs

2012-01-13T08:01:00.000-05:00

First, sorry for being so absent. Sick me last week + sick me again this week + sick Andrew this week + trying to sway (okay more like force) the girls into a new routine this week + boob in rebellion all boils down to the utter neglect of the blog. sorry. really.

This post is all about a lesson learned this week, one that will likely stick with me for a good long time.

When the girls were born they were tiny amazing wonders and I really had the whole go with the flow attitude down. I will let them sleep when they want to fall asleep, I will let them eat when they want to eat and I will just go with it.

This worked out amazingly. They were happy babies and they were thriving. They woke during the night three times in the beginning and two times until recently and every time they woke we would feed them and put them down and they would just drift back off to sleep in their amazing way. This past month or so the whole drifting back off sort of petered off and Isla sort of refused to go to sleep unless she ate herself to sleep on the boob.

It was time to change things up... so I thought.

So while at Chapters last weekend I happened on a book. I read about the pick up put down method and thought it was pure genius (okay maybe you other mothers figured this out on your own... I did not). So I bought the book, read on and figured that hey getting the girls into a four hour routine where they put themselves to sleep would be awesome.

So this past week has felt like an ongoing marathon. There's been some progress, some good that has come out of this but there has also been crying and worst of all a slew of self doubt.

I was torn between the competitive, determined me and the new soft, uber emotional me.

The tipping point.... the boob... it rebelled... it basically said your new "routine" is a load of crap and does not work for us (it is ridic engorged... help me please). Then I became a sobby mess feeling like I had failed the girls which of course I hadn't but it really rang home the whole intuition thing. My girls love the boob and this book was clearly not breastfeeding friendly and I am no way near ready to stop.

So the boob won, well maybe we all won.

This morning I fed them both in bed, half sleeping and knew the book was wrong. This time that we have together now is so much more important then forcing them into a routine.

Now I don't regret the purchase altogether as I did find the pick up put down method very useful. I now have a tool other than the boob that I can use to soothe them to sleep.

but in the end... my gut won.

as it should have.

Instinct by Mindiaphotos via etsy

have you done this? bought a book, got on board with a program and then realized your instincts inevitably won out in the end?

five months old

2012-01-09T08:01:00.000-05:00

dear isla and alice,

a year ago new years we found that two of you had taken up residence in my tummy, what an amazing surprise that was.

now you are just over five months old and it feels like we have known each other forever. People stop us all the time when we are out the conversation goes something like this...

stranger: wow you have twins?
mommy: yes I do
stranger: a boy and a girl?
mommy: nope, two girls (they are in pink or purple snowsuits, blankets, hoodies... seriously people not all twins come in a boy/girl package)
stranger: wow you must be exhausted
mommy: actually twins are totally manageable
stranger: really...
mommy: yes, much more doable than we thought
mommy: I now think that all babies should come with a twin
stranger: (trying to look convinced but in fact coming off as... who is this crazy mommy... twins are cute to look at but i'm glad I don't have them) well they are adorable

twins are awesome... I mean one baby would be amazing as well but I really do believe that all babies should have a twin, a built in best friend.

here you are, rockin your bandanas, lounging in your bumbos with poppity pop... I got a bit scared when other mom's said their babies shrieked in terror when they turned this guy on but you two love it... and so does Heidi

thank you for hanging in there while we wait for your first teeth to pop out, I can't imagine that it's fun especially when you also have mad diaper rash. Also, mommy recently discovered a new book and you might be a bit confused right now because we're changing things up. Hang in there, it will all be for the better.

it's so great to see you laugh at each other, to have you grab my face when I hold you, to see you try as hard as you can to roll over and to finally succeed. It's amazing to watch you experience so many firsts. I love how your eyes light up Alice when you discover that we're at the mall. I love how you take a moment Isla, to assess a new situation before you decide that it's a good one.

everyday there's a new surprise... and I love it.

happy five months

xoxo mommy

isla has things to say

2012-01-06T06:39:00.001-05:00

Isla is making her video debut... and you get to witness it (lucky you!)...

...

So Mommy has been sick this week and I've taken it upon myself to try to grow me some teeth. My sister is in on this gig and that means double the teething pain, double the drool, and double the diaper rash (Mommy was wrong... cloth does not save us from the rash... damn you teething!)

on the plus side... we've pretty much got this whole talking thing down...

Bubbles from calmlychaotic on Vimeo.

thank you for joining me...

hope your friday is the best.

if you would like to know where I got my bandanna, ask my mommy.

2011 etsy favourites... part two... wear it

2011-12-28T19:55:00.001-05:00

Well Santa was too good to us and we're still taking it all in. I will of course share some of our favourite moments of our very first Christmas together very soon... until then...

here are a few of my etsy favourites... for wearing... from this past year...

enjoy!

by SigalitAlcali

by KangarooCare ... this is a nursing necklace... I think the girls would love it as they've recently taken to grabbing my face and hair whilst eating!

by Joretta ... for when the girls have actual hair... not fuzzy adorable hair

by opellecreative ... simple and gorgeous... for outings without the diaper bag

by Sumikoshop ... that tall thing is a whistle... could come in handy in a couple of years... no I did not just say that...

by Sumikoshop ... love this.

I hope you had a fabulous Christmas too!

chaotic recap... fourth edition

2011-12-23T08:01:00.002-05:00

Christmas is in two days and we've been busy shopping, wrapping and planning menus...

so this is going to be photo heavy and writing sparse... brace yourselves.

Love that we will be getting some quality time with this man... in the form of two weeks off from work!

Somebody's teething... do you see that drool?

she's rocking her amber necklace... please let those rocks be doing their magic

Alice is still working on the whole jumping thing...

yeah... she's wearing a tu-tu skirt... I know... it's a little much but we had to get fussed up because....

Auntie Stephanie has arrived...

she's not really a bag lady... I promise you

the girls are smitten...

and she's addicted...

Presents are wrapped and under the tree...

and we're all so excited for our first Christmas together as a family of four.

Are you ready for Christmas? Do you stay home for the holiday or are you off on a road/plane/train trip?

Have a fabulous Christmas!

cloth diapering twins

2011-12-22T08:01:00.002-05:00

I have been meaning to update you on our cloth diapering ways... because I know you want to hear about the nitty gritty details of dealing with cloth diapers times two. First of all I feel I must mention that if you do not have a baby you will likely think that dealing with baby poo is totally nasty and that you will have no part in laundering soiled baby diapers. When it's your own... you might feel differently. I do.

We're almost five months in and totally sold on cloth, wouldn't have it any other way, we tell total strangers on the street with babies that they should be using cloth. I am a believer.

I meant to write this post for a good while so that I can convince even more of you that cloth is so the way to go. Today I found the perfect motivation as one of you is pregnant with twins (yay!!) and emailed me to ask me about the ins and outs of cloth diapering twins (thank you Nicole from Glam Granola). Well I just hit send and am afraid I wrote you a novel... so I figured I mind as well post that novel on here ... right. now.

here goes.

We assumed our babies would be small (smaller then they actually were) so we originally went with these bummis newborn covers along with these organic preemie prefolds and snappis, we would then hold the prefold on the baby with the snappi and put the cover over. For the first week we used disposables until they got rid of all the sticky black stuff. Originally I admit we used disposables at night for fear that the wetness of the cloth would wake them up (we were soo soo wrong). I think we bought roughly 40 of the diapers and about 10 covers to start with and we were planning to wash them every second day.

Here's what I didn't like about the original system we had going:

1. I do not like the velcro fasteners on the covers (they stick to everything when you wash them even though you velcro them back on themselves before washing (bummis do make covers with snaps but I haven't tried them)

2. they seemed to hold the smell really badly

3. the covers dug into their legs (and they had small legs)

What we do now (and have done since they were about two months old when i discovered flip one size covers)...

Flip OS Cover via

We use the next size up of organic prefolds by bummis (the infant size which I am told will likely be good enough until they are potty trained), along with a fleece liner (I bought the bummis ones but you can cut up a bunch of fleece yourself... this makes the baby feel less wetness) and a flip one size fits all cover (which I love love love love love). I fold the prefold into thirds the long way and then lay the fleece on top and then lay it in the cover and voila... you have the diaper.

I do wash the diapers usually every day, sometimes every second but I just do it that often because then there's less to put back out and less to fold (I loathe folding). We have 8 covers now which works well if we launder every day or so. I only change the covers at night and when they um poo.

As for how we handle the dirty diapers... I really recommend fuzzibunz hanging diaper pail... you throw the dirty diapers in it and then it unzips at the bottom so you unzip and shake them into the laundry and then toss the bag in too (see... not so nasty afterall). We also have two small laundry pails that we sometimes put the bag in, otherwise you can just hook the bag around a door knob. We have a front loading machine and we put it through a rinse cycle first so that everything gets nice and wet and then we run it through a whites cycle. We use Country Save detergent - we started out with Nellies and it just didn't take the smell out but country save works really well for us.

I breastfeed... which makes this whole thing easier... now I could write a novel on how that all went down and how awesome it is NOW so if you have questions ask away... if you do use formula you will need to use a paper liner and flush it as that stuff won't just wash away.

For going out of the house (which you will need to do in order to STAY SANE) you will need a wetbag - I like these bags with the outside compartment.

For diaper cream I use liveclean non-pertrolum jelly and it does fine with the cloth.

Now anyone will tell you that an AIO (all in one) is easier but it is going to cost you a lot. At this point we've spent roughly $500 - $600 total on diapering stuff and we likely will need to spend very little more until they are potty trained (compare that to roughly $2500 PER CHILD on disposables), not to mention that disposables stink... like literally they smell awful.

The hardest part of cloth diapering thus far is responding to people (or should I say defending my position) on why we are using cloth diapers... people think they are gross.

Bottom line in my opinion... you do need to decide you are just going to do it and stick with it because disposibles are more convenient but like I already said... they stink... a lot... and will burn a hole in your wallet...

have I convinced you?

I hope so.

2011 etsy favourites... part one... say it

2011-12-21T08:01:00.001-05:00

When I have free time, which is rare and may involve staying up too late just to grab a few minutes to myself (which I never regret the next morning) I usually spend it clicking through etsy while watching tv, drinking wine or lemonade and eating raspberries. Weird combo, maybe... but it works.

Okay so I do actually buy things off of etsy... usually in waves... usually when we're decorating something specific... but other times I just click through until I find something that I think I might just love and then I add it to my favourites and it might just be bought down the road or it might show up on here in a post.

Here are some of my favourite etsy finds that say something from this past year that I have yet to buy or post...

by HelloHuckleberry

I think we might just need this one...

by Kathy Panton

by sparrownestscript

I need to buy this for our next anniversary... Andrew, look away!

by ashleykjensen

I found this same saying on a print last year and ever since I've thought it belonged in our front entranceway...

by theSIBLINGshop

because adding damn makes everyday that much better.

happy wednesday.

28 was a good year

2011-12-19T08:01:00.000-05:00

A year ago this was the scene at the arrivals terminal of the airport when we picked up my sister...

it was my birthday ... and the same day we found out that it worked and that I was pregnant... and this is Steph absorbing this news...

and this was the same day... one year later...

amazing how so much can change in a year.

last year it was my birthday ... and the same day we found out that it worked and that I was pregnant... and the same day that we picked up my sister from the airport and told her the news.

this year we didn't make it to the airport but the reunion was just as sweet as last year.

okay maybe sweeter..

loved this. Andrew admitted to using his left hand to write this. so cute.

It was a great day.

Heidi thought so too.

29... you have some large shoes to fill!

happy monday!

chaotic recap... third edition

2011-12-16T08:01:00.003-05:00

Last Saturday night was a get all dressed up, go to Andrew's Christmas party, pretend we're real adults for a night and socialize with other real adults, drink what you think was a reasonable amount, learn a couple hours later that it was far too much for your out of drinking practice self and pay dearly when your daughters wake you several times that night to feed... kind of night.

in short... it was awesome with a side of awful.

Isla and Alice started talking to each other... it started with a few direct smiles and escalated to full on giggling and talking to one another, amazing to watch...

i think i know you from somewhere...

yes i believe you shared a womb with me...

also amazing, when they look right at you when you talk to them.

Yesterday I baked... well it was more like we baked (my Mom, my Mother-in-Law and Myself)... and unlike last year... success was had!

The makings of a hello dolly bar... this time I didn't literally LAYER the ingredients into the pan and I put more than the suggested 1/3 cup of condensed milk... (recipe)

Sugar cookies... I would like to say that I was responsible for the perfect cut outs but it was really Andrew's Mom who rolled out the dough and cut out these goodies... yes I still need to ice them. (recipe from Martha Stewarts Cookie book)

These gingerbread cookies were very easy to make (this coming from someone not at home in the kitchen). Oh and I swear... this is the ONLY pan where the cookies had a bit of a run in with one another. (recipe)

Now we just need to hide these somewhere until Christmas (and then I need to give as many away as possible..)

Another first this week... Alice has decided that she wants to hold her bottle (she gets bottles during the night and sometimes one during the day)...

Andrew's let her actually hold it a couple of times at night but he credits her super sticky hands rather then brute strength...

I had to throw this in here simply because those baby legs that Isla is sporting used to look like giant adult sized tights on their tiny newborn legs...

now... not so much.

Today the plan was to go to a movie but then Isla decided not to sleep much again last night and I thought I would likely sleep through a movie... so we went Christmas shopping instead...

and by Christmas shopping I really mean I bought things for myself shopping. I haven't really shopped in over a year, for clothes that aren't for a baby related purpose (maternity, nursing, for the babies... you get it). I had been very reluctant to shop for myself because I kept wanting to lose more weight from the pregnancy. Well all of the skinny jeans fit now so I figure it's safe now. So today I didn't go looking for anything for myself... I went looking for Christmas presents and I did find some but it always happens that when I am not looking for myself and when I really shouldn't be spending money on myself... that I actually find things I love.

I came home with two. Happy early birthday present to me.

And finally... some more sweet pictures of our sweet girls that I took these past couple of days...

This weekend we have no official plans but I am sure there will be some Christmas shopping and lots of giggles.

Are you finished your Christmas shopping?

Happy Weekend!

more om in my yoga please

2011-12-15T20:43:00.000-05:00

I wish I could order up a yoga class in the same manner that I order a grande non-fat extra hot with cinnamon on top chai latte at starbucks... exactly how I like it. Unfortunately such is not the case... well not the case anywhere close by. You see, I go to yoga to unwind, to stretch out my life, and detox my brain. I go to the gym to kick my ass and change my body. The problem is my yoga class has morphed into something too athletic, where instead of chanting you get one hundred abs and instead of feeling rejuvenated and adequately challenged when I depart I feel like I just ran a marathon in the desert and I'm mad about it.

There are other classes out there that are more like my latte... problem is they are father away and time right now is a premium.

Photo by Dave Holland

Do you do yoga? Is your class your ideal or what would it be if you could order it up the way you want it every time?

way back when-sday

2011-12-14T18:38:00.000-05:00

it was january 2008...

We were engaged, away for the weekend visiting my sister at Bishops University...

We saw her play, wondered why we didn't go to a small university like this one... which really felt more like a high school... were introduced to drinking scrabble... and tried to keep up with the young ones by drinking way too much...

loved it.

linking up with allison:

hello dolly bars take two...what are you baking for christmas?

2011-12-13T08:01:00.002-05:00

At this point I am thinking that I will be able to do some Christmas baking. Yes... it may mean coercing several relatives over to my house at once so that there will be several free hands for Isla and Alice while I attempt to not screw up a recipe (yes... I tend to do this often... hence why I needed to marry a man who can cook)...

Last year my attempt at baking hello dolly bars was a big fail... and I really have no idea where I went wrong. This recipe looks so easy one would think you could make it after a bottle of wine... apparently pregnant and completely sober wasn't enough for me... but this year, I'll get it right (I hope)...

Hello Dolly Bars by Smitten Kitchen

Second on my baking to-do list... whole wheat gingerbread cookies... my neighbor brought over a plate of these and they were delicious... too delicious in fact as we devoured the plate in a couple of days. I plan on adding some red sprinkles to make them more festive.

I'm curious... do you have good baking intentions like I do and actually follow through with them? What is your favourite thing to make when it comes to holiday baking?

andrew was going to get me an iphone...

2011-12-12T21:35:00.000-05:00

but then he saw this...

okay so maybe the whole... send my wife directions to hell... is a tad over the top... but it's definitely good for a laugh...

but in all seriousness Andrew did go on a stealth mission to buy me an iphone a couple of weeks ago... he went on a sunday night after a looonng day with the girls (read lots of crying) and he stood outside in the cold in a line... all in an effort to be able to surprise me on Christmas morning...

his intentions were good... make that great... unfortunately the reality of the monthly charges in Canada for these phones is harsh. It would have been triple what we pay for my phone right now... and really the only reason I wanted one was for the camera so that I could take more pictures when I am out and about with the girls, without having to always cart around this camera that I love.

he was still going to get it... if I really wanted it... but at that price... I don't.

but there's always the ipod touch!

do you have an iPhone? do you love it? wait don't answer that... I'm sure if you have one you do love it...

what gadget do you really want for Christmas?

chaotic recap... second edition

2011-12-09T08:01:00.003-05:00

There's been a new addition to our house and its name is the Jolly Jumper...

Yeah it took a couple of tries last weekend but on the second try Isla was flying and on the third so was Alice. This is Isla's new favourite thing without a doubt.... you start to strap her in and her legs start bending all ready to jump!

Last weekend we got out on another date night, this time to see Breaking Dawn Part I. In my opinion... it did not disappoint... mind you it could have been horrible and I still would have loved it. Funny enough the one thing that stuck out to me was the lingerie... gave myself a bit of a kick and vowed that santa will be bringing me some of that...eberjey style... I love their stuff!

So it's now a couple of weeks away from Christmas and we have yet to order our Christmas cards. We've been meaning to do a photoshoot of the girls for the cards for a while now but finally made our first attempt on the weekend...

fail... Isla was not in the photo-taking mood...

mid week we tackled the Christmas tree so it's beginning to feel nice and festive around here...

Wednesay I gave it another go...

success! now I just need to order the cards...

I feel a little like a dog with a tail between its legs.... and a sucky parent... to Heidi... you see somehow we neglected to keep up with her high maintenance long hair and she was full of knots... well my Dad took her to get groomed this week and I'm happy to say that the knots are gone... unfortunately so his the majority of her fur...

hello lion cut...

poor kitty...

I know what she's thinking... she's eyeing me and telling me... how could you let this happen! how could you! I actually cried when he brought her in for the big reveal...

Oh Heidi I promise we'll be better...

On a happier note, we are hearing more and more giggles these days... especially when we make the girls fly in the air!

I am loving these sweet picture of our sweet girls that I took these past couple of days...

That last one is Isla... catching up on the shut eye she has been avoiding during the night... if only I could snag myself some of that daytime sleep... maybe I would feel less like a zombie.

I did manage to sneak in some relaxation time last night and we watched Crazy Stupid Love... which I love...

This weekend is Andrew's work Christmas party and we're hoping to wrap up our Christmas shopping ... what are your plans for the weekend?

Happy Weekend!

Linking up with E Tells Tales

want some more? last week's recap...

i jinxed myself

2011-12-08T21:00:00.000-05:00

Dear former self that publicly proclaimed how awesome her children were at sleeping during the night... why did you have to go there... as in all happy yeah my girls are so fantastic at sleeping... next time... keep that mouth shut.

yeah... i totally jinxed myself...

the past two nights... it's been all down at 6ish pm... Isla awake and hungry at midnight... feed... Isla awake and hungry at 2am... feed.... Isla awake and hungry at 5am... yeah you get the picture... and I'm not looking for sympathy... I know I had it awesome and am fairly confident that one day the awesomeness will return... but until then...

I am damn tired...

by bellabyte via

so excuse me while I drown my self pity in a glass of wine..

happy thursday

it's beginning to look a lot like...

2011-12-07T08:01:00.000-05:00

Christmas... in our house.

I started on the mantle two weeks ago... and haven't done much to it since...

I am still planning on cutting off all of that extra yarn... when I get a free minute... and I was hoping to hang a wreath on that mirror but have tried the clear 3M hooks and a suction cup and both options FAILED me... suggestions anyone? the wreath weighs like a pound max!

I dragged the tree up from the basement and assembled it last week when my Mom and my neighbor were here... had a tad bit of a set back with the pre-lit lights but Andrew came through and got 95% of it working (good enough we said... good enough)

we actually got the tree decorated tonight, with a couple of glasses of wine in hand and two lovely sleeping babies upstairs...

love this ornament... which was slightly edited by my parents.... apparently a twin ornament is extremely difficult to come by...

We ordered two special ornaments for the girls off of etsy on friday night... received the shipping notification yesterday and can't wait for them to arrive.

this will be the best christmas yet.

four months old

2011-12-06T20:57:00.001-05:00

dear alice and isla,

a year ago today they put you in my tummy. afterwards I went to acupuncture. afterwards I went home and wondered and worried and stressed and tried to relax and hoped, really, really hoped that you would decide to stay for good.

and you did.

and here you are, four months old and so amazing.

We introduced you to the jolly jumper on saturday and I think it's your favourite thing to do now. It's crazy to see you standing up and jumping (even if you are held up by a harness). You've come so far from your completely helpless selves as infants.

You both sit up in the bumbo often and love grabbing at your toys from this position.

You giggle out loud. Especially when I kiss your tummies.

You eat so fast. I love it. The months of forty five minute feedings seem to be a thing of a past and I am so grateful. Now our time together is all quality as nursing seems so effortless. I definitely feel like all of the work was so so worth it and am so grateful that you two are both able to nurse so well and so often.

Speaking of eating, you have been putting on the pounds weighing in at just around 11 pounds each and you are both getting so long.

You sleep so much. Up until last week we thought your sleep abilities were pretty fantastic as we would feed you at 6 pm, you would sleep until 10 pm when we would wake you up and feed you and then you would sleep until 4 or 5 am and wake us up to feed you, finally waking up around 7 am for the day. Last week we decided to trick you a little bit and it worked (fingers crossed). We now feed you around 5:30 pm and then you sleep until 2:30 am (Alice) and 4:30 am (Isla). We are thrilled.

You're asleep right now and we are decorating the tree. We can't wait to have our first Christmas with you as a family.

xoxo mommy

chaotic recap... first edition + moustache wrap up

2011-12-02T08:01:00.000-05:00

I have been thinking about doing a weekly recap for sometime now but was worried if I started off with something complicated... (read time intensive)... I would ultimately fail... let myself down... stress about it.... but I am a big fan of Elizabeth's blog and she too is a new mom and she regularly puts out entertaining weekly updates so I've decided to dive in with something low pressure yet consistent... so thanks Elizabeth for inspiring me to get this done... here goes...

Last weekend we decided to introduce Isla and Alice to the exersaucer....

seriously mommy... i'm too small for this thing!

yeah this pillow isn't fooling anyone TOO SMALL you hear me!

I think the fish is looking at me...

side note... seriously... this is my living room... I know if you don't have a baby you are probably thinking my living room will never look like this... it will I promise you... and you will love it (although come 7 o'clock my ocd kicks in a all of this magically disappears... until the next morning)

On Saturday Andrew and I had a mini date night and a short night out to a friend's birthday. Funny when your date starts promptly at 6 pm and you have to call it a night at 9:45 pm to get home and feed your babies (yeah they take a bottle at this feeding but tell that to my boobs).

no this isn't us in case you were curious... but damn they look like they're having a good time... i especially love the fact that he isn't sporting a stache (photo via nadine bozek)

On Sunday we had friends over for dinner... this is a big deal... I mean back in the pre babies days we did this all of the time. Since the twins have arrived we have done this once and that was this Sunday. It felt kind of wonderful having a real night in with friends with two blissfully sleeping babies.. oh wait make that one sleeping baby + one baby who wanted to giggle with our friend all night... oh well, I will take the giggling any day.

we (and I mean Andrew) made this... we love this... try it... you will too

midweek Andrew ordered a tripod for our new camera...

Heidi ordered the box..

yeah her head was in there two minutes ago...

In an effort to encourage more tummy time I decided to spice things up a little and put them up in the air on their tummys... also encouraging some one on one mommy and baby bonding time... which I love.

god i love this face

a lesson recently learned... when they fall asleep in the car seat... leave them there because they might actually sleep in there for two hours...

Lastly, we watched Water for Elephants this week.... yeah it takes a week to watch a movie in this household... and I have to say Robert Pattinson + Reese Witherspoon + animal cruetly = disappointing. I was definitely on team elephant for this one... two words... skip. it.

Now for the moustache wrap up.... because you know you want to see this...

oh it's so close it's scary I know!

four weeks down and movember is offically over!

so long stache... I will never miss you

happy weekend!

how do you do it all?

2011-12-01T08:01:00.002-05:00

Lately I've been wondering if there is some way to make the days last longer... wondering whether I am fitting enough into each day... am I taking enough pictures of the girls? am I smiling at them enough? am I laughing with them enough? am I playing with them enough? At seven o'clock at night I generally have a glass of wine in hand and am usually taking my first really relaxing breath of the day. And yes, I usually do feel like we've had enough fun, had enough giggles (well can you really ever have enough?), played together as much as possible... as much as we can given that there are three of us in the daily equation and two of us like to eat, every two hours (hint hint, I am not included in this twosome)... but part of me always wishes the day was longer so that I would have time to play as much or more, smile more and giggle more, spend more time laughing with Andrew, relaxing with Andrew, while maintaining a clean house, working out more, actually cracking open a cookbook and actually blogging every day. I know that I can't have it all. I know what my priorities are.

But it doesn't mean that it's always easy. Raising twins is tough. It isn't not doable, it's totally, absolutely doable and actually easier than I'd imagined. (Which is exactly what I will tell you if you ever ask me) I guess the tough part is the sheer lack of time, downtime that is.

Perhaps I need to schedule myself in somehow... not everyday... but a few times a week. I do get to the gym and more recently to yoga a few times a week, but I am talking about irresponsible time... time not spent trying to regain my former skinny self... time spent doing frivolous things... time just for me.

If you have children... do you have that time?

how do you do it all?

my birthday is coming up... hint hint... nudge nudge

2011-11-30T23:28:00.000-05:00

My birthday happens to be one week before Christmas (interesting fact... I was due on Christmas Day)... this year I am hoping for clothes, the non boring type yet the okay to get spit up on type...

god these look comfy! Thermic Bliss Socks via

okay so not so spit-up-friendly but cute and could work for a we have twin babies so we're spending new years at home new years... Bright Forecast Tank via

buttons = breastfeeding friendly... and cute I might add... with skinny jeans... hello! Pintucked Plaid Buttondown via

love that this spells out amore in morse code, via

What are you loving these days?

babies Christmas wish list

2011-11-28T21:12:00.000-05:00

Okay Santa, it's our first year here and we've been good... no wait... make that awesome... so here's the inside scoop on what we are hoping lands under our tree...

we're smart babies and read daily... Duck and Goose's Christmas book is pretty fantastic... we would like to explore them further... via

It's time to get some eye candy on that ceiling of ours... the popcorn up there can only entertain us for so long...Cloud Mobile Estrella by The Butter Flying via etsy

We would like Sir Prance-a-lot.... we love his friend Lulu-in-a-tutu and think that she deserves a friend... but more than anything... we just love the name sir prance-a-lot...

All of our twin friends are rocking the Robeez and Mommy has yet to clue in and get us a pair... please help us keep up with this trend and more importantly... help us keep our socks on our feet! ps.. the peek-a-boo ones are our faves

Checking ourselves out in the mirror rocks... being able to do this while enjoying some tummy time would be a-maz-ing... via

Mommy keeps dropping the word snow and mentioning how it is going to get super cold out... something about how the foot muffs for our Bumbleride Indie Twin stroller would keep us warm and make her life easier... please make that happen

mini mioche... we've been awesome remember.... enough said

There you have it... that's our list.

Oh and Mommy's already clued us in to the fact that you prefer wine over milk and cookies so we'll hook you up.

xoxo isla & alice

we got sick

2011-11-24T20:22:00.000-05:00

I apologize for the lack of quality posts this week... Andrew's cold turned into the babies cold... and I went from feeling slightly less energizer bunnyish to just plain tired. I've been laying low at home with the babies, keeping them nice and warm inside away from the snow that arrived on Wednesday, reassuring them when they cough and get a horrid... what is happening to me look on their face, and giving them nice warm eucalyptus scented baths.

I did manage to get my first massage post babies yesterday. What a way to spend an hour.

I am hoping to find some fabulous deals tomorrow for black friday. More and more Canadian stores seem to be adopting this holiday... and I am loving it! First up... Anthro... tomorrow am... an extra 50% off all sale items... unheard of! Also... tons of stuff on etsy is on sale!

Are you planning on taking advantage of black friday sales? Please do share!

I hope your week has been splendid and that you have a wonderful Thanksgiving (for all of you Americans)!

dancing babies

2011-11-22T20:39:00.000-05:00

Isla meet Alice, Alice meet Isla...

now dance...

I was starting to wonder if either of you would ever notice there was another little person in the room with you... and then all of a sudden you are all over each other.

I am loving it...

and then there were three....babies that is

2011-11-21T20:58:00.000-05:00

The words I was so dreading.... I think I'm getting sick... were spoken by Andrew on Friday.

I immediately pictured myself running all over the house with disinfectant (which of course we don't own), sanitizing any surface that had possibly come into contact with Andrew... yes I do have traces of OCD perhaps.... in an effort to keep our babies away from whatever it is that he had (or has.... dammit)

And so there I was....no longer caring for two children... enter a third.

Okay so that's a slight stretch... if anything Andrew has been thoroughly neglected aside from the fact that I put sheets on the guest room bed for him (yeah he was relegated in his sick state to the guest room), got him gatorade and cold fx and nagged him like it's my job about taking in more fluids.

The babies knew something was up... they still know in fact and have been taking out their why isn't Daddy giving us quality Daddy time anger on me.

Two crying babies for the last three days and one Husband who needs to stay away from the crying babies makes for one Mommy who wants to grab a bottle of wine and go and drink in a corner.

Okay once again being a bit dramatic.... but seriously... taking care of twins solo is so not a fun time.

Thankfully I dragged my tired butt to a yoga class tonight and I am now drinking a glass of wine.... I feel a little more energized, a little less beaten and am fully prepared to put on my game face tomorrow if the backlash continues...

but I am quietly hoping for an overnight recovery by all three of my babies.

by GusandLula via etsy

now i know why people do this again

2011-11-17T19:48:00.000-05:00

and again, and sometimes again...

Growing up there was a house in our neighborhood that I used to refer to as the village, well I used to call it half of a house since they lived in a semi and I didn't realize that many many people live in semis, townhomes and condos. When you walked by this home you saw toys all over the lawn, children running all over the yard and a pregnant woman. Rumour even had it that they converted the garage to house more children. I think they were up close to ten children by the time I was a teenager.

I always wondered why.... why would you ever have that many children?

Well I kind of get it. I mean I will never have ten children, I will likely never have anymore children. But I get it. You look at their face... especially when they start to smile at you... when they are babies and want them to freeze like that, be forever young. I mean I want mine to grow up but slowly... very slowly so I can relish every second of it but time goes by so fast and they are only little for so long.

I've been out with Alice and Isla a few times with other moms of singletons (what we multiple moms refer to moms with one baby as) and inevitably they start to talk about plans for the next baby. Some of them try to work out how soon they can get pregnant again and still be eligible for another year off after the next baby. I usually end up repeating to myself (in my head of course) that two is wonderful, it was our best case scenario and it will be wonderful to raise these two girls and that will be enough. And it likely will be. Of course a small part of me thinks about that embryo frozen at the clinic. I end up thinking about it more now since mother nature pulled a fast one on us and tricked us into thinking one of our transferred embryos didn't take last december and that our girls were identical... which they clearly are not. So they both took. Maybe the frostie could take too?

yeah i get it. babies are awesome.

how many children do you dream of having?

via

baby wearing take two

2011-11-15T21:13:00.000-05:00

When I was pregnant I posted a few options that we were looking at regarding baby wearing carriers and wraps. Well we headed off to Milkface, a local babywearing store and tried out a few options. I picked the hug-a-bub but actually bought the sleepy wrap since it was very similar and much cheaper and Andrew picked the Beco Butterfly II, which is a soft structured carrier. We've used both carriers quite often and I've spent hours and hours each day wearing the sleepy wrap. Newborns love love love the sleepy wrap. I kid you not, nestle a fussy newborn into that wrap and the fussiness will disappear. The girls have both napped away afternoons in that wrap and it has saved my sanity during many duel cryfests.

The only problem... the girls are getting bigger and my back... oh my back.... just isn't loving the sleepy wrap anymore.

So a couple of weekends ago we returned to milkface and I tried on a whole slew of other carrier options. First I considered trying to use Andrew's Beco Butterfly II carrier but it just never felt right on me. There is an inner panel between the baby and the carrier, which in this case would be me. This panel is handy for actually loading the baby into the carrier before you put it on, but personally I found it cumbersome. Also, this Beco model does not have straps that cross in the back, which I thought made it less comfortable for my back. So that option was quickly dismissed.

Next up was the Ergo. The Ergo had the added ability to wear a baby on your hip, something I was really interested in since I often find I hold them on my hip while walking around. Unfortunately the Ergo also had the panel in between baby and carrier and the straps couldn't cross in the back. So that was out.

The Scootababy is a great concept - it is a carrier specifically for carrying your baby on your hip and looks super comfortable... however... I didn't even try this one on since I didn't want to fork out that much money for a carrier that only did one position.

Finally I tried on the Beco Gemini.... winner! The Gemini has no inner panel (so baby is right up against the carrier (me), the leg openings for the baby actually adjust to a narrower width for tinnier, younger babies, the straps can cross across your back (amazing) and you can use it to carry your baby on your hip.

I am loving this carrier.

and so are Isla and Alice.

and i thought i was the flexible one... hello under-the-cabinet lighting

2011-11-14T20:27:00.000-05:00

I hope the weekend treated you well. Ours was spent in the confines of our suburb... I now feel as though I have fully given in to the appeal of suburban living... hell I've embraced it. On Saturday I did manage to venture outside of this suburb and into another one for a body attack class. Saturday afternoon was spent undoing the effects of said exercise class by going to the new local burger stop. It had a similar concept to Splitz in Whistler but not quite as good. We also went to Chapters to start Christmas shopping... yes it is definitely that time of year already (more evidence to prove it.... I spent this afternoon hanging Christmas lights on my parent's Christmas tree). Yesterday over brunch at my parents Andrew suggested we go out and find some under cabinet lighting for our kitchen to help our babies sleep....

So we put them down to sleep on the main level around 6 o'clock every night. At around 10 o'clock we bring them upstairs and feed them in our room and then put them to sleep in our room. Between the hours of 6 pm and 10 pm we get to have dinner together, talk and watch some tv.... so this time is precious to say the least. Isla is awesome at falling asleep shortly after 6 pm, no mater how bright or loud the room may be. Alice on the other hand... would prefer to not sleep at all at this point and fights it quite often with all of her might. Making dinner when your wife keeps asking you to turn the lights down has proven to be a challenge for Andrew (yes I married a man who cooks... thank god!) so the whole under the cabinet lighting idea was perfect.... and we've secretly wanted these lights since we moved in... but now have a good excuse to actually buy them.

Luckily there were already outlets pre-installed under the cabinets so it was just a matter of drilling in the fixtures and concealing the cord... easier said of course by me... who watched and laughed at the moves required to get the lights in.

Everything is so sparkly under these lights and I am happy to report that tonight at 7... Alice was also asleep. thank you andrew.

tis the season for party dresses

2011-11-11T20:28:00.001-05:00

Okay it's cold out. I took the girls out for a walk today... well it felt like tonight since it was 4 pm and the sun was setting... why does daylight savings exist... and it was cold... like winter cold. I can just sense that snow is around the corner. The one good thing that snow signifies (besides Christmas) is holiday party season. We so rarely get dressed up so I always look forward to a good Christmas party where I will be required to slip out of my skinny jeans or leggings and into a dress.

Of course I am still carrying around pregnancy weight... I am losing weight... slowly... but surely... but no dress in the closet is up to the task of fitting this body.

So..... options... yes please.

Dolcie Dress via anthropologie

City of Lights Dress via anthropologie

Alice + Olivia Eleanor Metallic Striped dress via shopbop

Gracia Dress via anthropologie

I am loving that red dress!

Do you have a holiday party to dress up for? What will you wear?

out for a rest + a one week movember update

2011-11-09T17:43:00.001-05:00

Today a little break was in order. I knew it was time to take a little mommy time out when I fell asleep in the tub ... last night... for the second time. I've felt like an energizer bunny these past three months and have never really experienced the sleep deprived, energy sucking state that so many new mom's talk about. Well I'm still not totally there but I do feel like I am running against a ticking clock from the first cry for the first feeding of the day. I feel like I'm in a race... every single day but I also feel like I've trained for years for this race and am capable of tackling it every day.

but everyone needs a break

and for me the oh shit i almost fell asleep in the tub for the second time was my a-ha moment.

so today instead of going to the gym while Grandma came over I went to Chapters (which of course also means I hit up starbucks)... there's something about wandering around a big book store with a late in tow that really makes me melt.

of course it would have been nice had this little trip out of the house sans babies not involved me witnessing a car crash right as I was turning into the chapters parking lot... i drove away... and felt like a bad person..... but come on universe.... this is my first outting out in days and I only had like an hour before they needed to eat again... do you really think I had the time to stop ... but then i ran into my mom at chapters (coincidentally we both love the starbucks + chapters experience) and she decided to go and give the cop my number on her way home... so then I felt like a better person once again.

Funny what an hour out can do... I am feeling like a human once again.... lesson learned... apparently I'm not invincible after all.

now for the movember update... one week in and the stache is looking quite dirty...

okay so the adorable baby lessens the nastiness factor a tad... but I kid you not... when I look at Andrew it's like the moustache is a million times darker and is doing everything in its power to monopolize my attention.

it's only temporary, it's only temporary, it's only temporary....

christmas came early

2011-11-08T19:42:00.000-05:00

Thank you for all of your lovely comments yesterday on Isla and Alice's three month post!

I am especially happy with the photos I posted... not because I claim to be some amazing photographer but because we bought ourselves an early Christmas present this past weekend... in camera form. We'd toyed with the idea of buying a digital slr camera pre birth but we came to the conclusion at the time that twins are expensive, we have a decent point and shoot so we will hold out for now. Well that was just over three months ago... clearly we did not stick to the original plan.

It was so worth it.

Such a difference.

Huge.

I can't believe we didn't buy this sooner.

We ended up buying a canon rebel t2i.... so it's by far not at the high end of digital slr's but it is a great camera for the price and so far we are thrilled with the images it's letting us capture of the girls.

So far we are just clicking away but there is a plethora of online tutorials on how to really make use of this camera and one day when I have a spare minute or two I will track them down.

So now I'm curious.... what camera do you use? What software do you use to edit your images if you do?

please do share...

three months old

2011-11-07T20:11:00.000-05:00

dear isla and alice,

on Sunday you were three months old.

I can't believe how big you are now. It's so hard to believe that you ever shared the same dwelling in my tummy.

You both smile at me all of the time. I especially love the big, open mouthed smiles... they melt my heart. You two are both getting so strong and you hold your heads up all of the time. I am thinking it might be bumbo and jolly jumper time very soon although I don't want to rush you. I now change each of you with one hand on your tummy as I am pretty sure you will start rolling over any day or week now since you shoot your legs up so high in the air every chance you get.

Alice, you love your soother. Isla, you still think the soother is evil but that is okay... you are so relaxed as long as your tummy is full. Isla, you are grabbing toys on your playmat and Alice, you smile when I touch your face.

....um I breastfeed you two twelve times today, that's twelve times between the hours of 6 am and 6 pm... can we say growth spurt? I'm not complaining, I want you to get big and breastfeeding has become so so much easier as of late (thank god).

You are both sleeping wonderfully. You love sleeping in your bassinet, in the swing, in the wrap and in your new carrier. You normally take a nap after you play in the morning and then another nap after you play in the afternoon. You sleep from around 6 pm to 10 pm (eat) 10:30 pm to 4 am (sometimes 5 am if we're lucky... sometimes 3 am if we're not so lucky) (eat) and then wake up around 6 am or 7 am (sometimes even 8 am.... amazing).

the other day I felt a little hand on my shoulder, I loved it so much.

xoxo mommy

movember...

2011-11-02T20:13:00.001-04:00

I haven't seen my husband clean shaven since oh maybe our wedding day. When he came home yesterday and I got a good look at him (not like the semi conscious look I got that morning in bed when he said goodbye before he left for work) I thought he was an impostor.... a much younger and noticeably paler version of his former self. Who is this man and why is he making me feel so old all of a sudden is what went through my mind.

Luckily he forwarned me that the shave would be going down and I made a bargain with him... I will deal with the stache if you shave your head. There is something about him with a shaved head that I can't resist. Last night when he got home he was pre-shaved head. Now yesterday was a trying day over here for me. There was a lot of crying, none of which was from me but believe me, the thought crossed my mind several times.... just give in... let the tears flow... but I held out. So when he came home I wanted to leave the house. But I also wanted that head shaved so I could feel less like a cougar and more like his younger wife. So off the hair came.

I get to enjoy this look for a couple of days until the moustache starts to take centre stage... on his face.

I know it's for a good cause (prostate cancer research) and I know it will only be for a month.... but damn it is going to look dirty I just know it!

who is this man? (the before.... bring on the stache!!)

So am I alone in this moustache phobia or do you share my disdain for said facial hair?

nanowrimo

2011-11-01T09:40:00.000-04:00

November 1st marks the first day of NaNoWriMo.... "thirty days and nights of literary abandon" where one must concoct a 50 000 word novel by the end of November. I first heard of this event a year ago and I actually thought about doing it. Well it was my backup plan if our IVF cycle was postponed until the new year. I needed something to distract me and I figured that coming up with a 50 000 word novel might just do the trick. The 50 000 words seem quite daunting to me. I mean what would I write about, how do you even plan out the novel or do you take a fly by the seat of your pants approach and just dive right in? The nanowrimo vets seem intimidating to me with all of their potential plot discussions, writing software debates and the fact that they have successfully completed a novel of 50 000 words before. I mean no one even reads the end product... the event isn't about beating someone else's book, it's about taking on the challenge yourself and succeeding by finishing.

When I did some more digging I discovered that several published books originated from thirty hard days and nights of work. Some people clearly take this very seriously... which further intimidates me, the one who only writes emails, blog posts and grocery lists. I still remember way back in school when we would be asked to write a story and how hard it would be for me to figure out what to write about.

but, can you envision the sense of accomplishment? I am pretty certain I would feel completely awesome at the end of the challenge, having dreamed up 50 000 words.

So maybe next year, when I have two one year olds to chase around.... I will find a hiding place and join in on this challenge.... maybe.

happy halloween

2011-10-31T09:48:00.000-04:00

How do you do halloween? Do you dress up, eat a ton of candy, try to out do your neighbor's halloween decorations? Please tell me you're not one of those turn off all of the lights and pretend we're not at home Scrooge types... I mean just can't handle that. I've always loved halloween... not in the dress up and throw a party way, but in the halloween movie way and in the look how cute all of the children ringing our doorbell look.... and then the oh god I want a child so bad way. Luckily this year I can enjoy the costumes without the constant tug at my heart.

We didn't get costumes for Alice and Isla simply because everything was so huge for them! Nan and Papa came through though with some halloween onesies. I put them on them first thing this morning... managed to take a ton of pictures before Alice spit up on hers... which is now in the washing machine.

Now what's halloween without a black cat? Okay so she isn't exactly all black but when I looked in the hallway and saw this, I couldn't resist!

Andrew carved up our three pumpkins last night.... while I drank a bottle... I mean glass... of wine (mommy needs to relax sometimes too).

Happy Halloween!

coloured pants? yes please

2011-10-28T20:06:00.001-04:00

It's been way too long since I've bought something a bit daring, a bit outside of my comfort zone... but a bit fabulous.

enter coloured pants.

I think I love these...

J Brand 29" Skinny via Anthropologie

Okay so they are blue, so not exactly super daring but they aren't denim at least. The 29" ankle length also makes them a tad impractical for our soon to be blistering cold weather but that's what boots are for right?

At $176 I am not jumping at them since I wouldn't want to buy them in my present size (as in the size I am 12 weeks post delivery of twins)... but if say they are available when I return or come close to my former size then I may take the plunge.

What are your thoughts on coloured pants? Love them? Have them? .... or find them tacky?

Happy weekend!

first night out, sans babies

2011-10-26T20:12:00.001-04:00

Andrew and I hadn't been out of the house alone since I was pregnant. That changed on Saturday night. We planned this date night about a week in advance. My parents were to babysit. There was a slight hiccup in said plan when poor Alice turned out to have tummy issues that translated into hours of screaming. The parental unit (well I guess grand-parent unit) thought that if the screaming ensured perhaps a lunch date would be better then a real date night. Luckily we found a system that seemed to be working for Alice and come Saturday night when they arrived... she was sleeping.

Originally we thought we would go for dinner and a movie. We re-thought that plan as that would have meant a very quick dinner out pre movie as I can only be away from a baby or a pump for max 3 hour increments unless I want to be uncomfortable and a hot mess. So we ended up making reservations at an Italian restaurant 10 minutes away.

I'd been contemplating trying on a pair of non maternity jeans for a week or so so I dragged them out before the last feeding pre date refusing to try them on until the final hour so I wouldn't stew if they didn't fit. I was secretly terrified that if they didn't fit I might fall into a slump but rationalized trying them on by promising myself more wine while out if that was the case. Luckily when the time came to try on those jeans they did fit and I felt like I'd just won the lottery... so so so satisfying.

When we left I was apparently mildly frantic with my in case this happens.... or don't forget to.... I mean this wasn't the first time I'd left them with someone else... I do go to the gym during the day and everything is always fine while I am away... but this time it just seemed different.

My Mom made me promise not to talk about the babies while we were out. We were supposed to have a real break.

I would like to say that I kept that promise but clearly I would be lying. We did manage to have a great time though. I might have came home mildly intoxicated (god what a year of being away from the booze can do to your tolerance!!) but I definitely came home feeling lighthearted and closer to Andrew than ever.

It was a great night out.

even if it did only last for two hours.

coming home to a still sleeping baby.... amazing!

becoming claire dunphy

2011-10-25T07:00:00.001-04:00

I love Modern Family. It is one of the few shows that we actually look forward to and watch on a regular basis. Well something funny has been happening... well funny or frightening depending on how you look at it.

I think I am becoming Claire.

Yes Claire... the stay at home mother of three with the uber frustrating but sometimes loveable husband. You know... the one who bikes after speeding cars, goes door to door to try to get a new stop sign put in, strives day in and day out to get her son to wear pants, ends up stuck on an escalator in public with a trench coat on (and nothing else) while role playing on a date night with her husband, tries to be the fun one with her son and ends up with a van full of puke and the one who constantly strives for perfection yet often fails. Yes that's her.

I came to this realization over the course of last week, when I watched the first season on my laptop while breastfeeding (breastfeeding twins boils down to lots of boob time for them). I started looking at Claire in a new light. Gone was my former irritation with her, and instead was replaced with a new found understanding and appreciation for her and for her constantly pony-tailed hair and the fact that she almost exclusively wears luon workout pants. I knew when I spotted her in a purple hoodie and thought... hmm I should get myself one of those at american apparel... that I was done for.

Yes, yes I know... she's a fictional character... but really... I think she's awesome.

soo... scary revelation... maybe....but she's normalizing the chaos of my life day after day, and doing it in style (well I now consider her stylish seeing as I've traded in my skinny black work pants for skinning luon lululemon pants).... so thank you claire dunphy for living your fictional life and making my life feel that much more normal.

via

tummy time

2011-10-24T21:00:00.000-04:00

to me this just looks frustrating...

but they seem to get a kick out of it...

happy monday!

my nursing must haves

2011-10-21T08:01:00.000-04:00

I feel like nursing is like pregnancy... it's fleeting (well for me anyways as I can't see myself nursing for longer than six months to a year) and because it's fleeting it's hard to justify buying lots of nursing clothing and gear. I could see it being more justifiable if say you didn't have twins, it didn't take a team of medical experts and a lot of cash to get you pregnant and you were therefore contemplating future offspring.... however, that happens to be my reality so this will likely (never say never) be my only bout of nursing.

Here are a few things that have made my nursing experience that much better....

nursing by ashleyizsak on polyvore.com

2 Pair Regular Bamboobies Nursing Pads
Boob - B Warmer Hoodie Red Flame - Baby Shop
Natural Nipple Butter - organic and all natural nipple cream for sore...
Boob Nursing Singlet White | Stockholm Objects
Bebe au Lait Shop: Mosaic Nursing Cover
nneka nursing pillow green floral - $CAD60.00 : Toronto baby store....

Yes I know you can nurse in your regular clothes. It may mean exposing your back and tummy to the elements which in our city means weather that is borderline chilly now but will soon turn to a deep down cold to the bone cold. Nursing tops just make the whole experience that much more convenient and that much more comfortable.

So far I have three nursing tanks and one nursing hoodie. I love love love the hoodie. I love it so much in fact that I am trying to track down another one online on sale.

The bamboobies are amazing I promise you. So so superior to any other nursing pads that I've tried.

The nursing cover is definitely a must have in my opinion. It would be wonderful if everyone just breastfeed freely in public but unfortunately such is not the case so I will stick it out with the cover. I tell the girls that they are camping as it is essentially a big tent over them that I can peak into.

The Nneka nursing pillow is a new purchase (well a gift from Nan & Papa). I was in a local store (the Extraordinary Baby Shoppe) the other day when Isla suddenly demanded to eat right then and there. Luckily they are well prepared for instances like this and quickly offered me a comfy chair and this pillow to use. I was hooked. It is so much more user friendly compared to the gigantic my breast friend twin nursing pillow that I have.

That's it so far. Am I missing anything?

Happy Friday

i'm going to need one of these tomorrow

2011-10-20T23:18:00.000-04:00

Coffee Art by PopPopPhotography via etsy

Normally I go to bed after their last evening feeding... which happened about two hours ago... but tonight I just felt like I needed a bit of free time... even if it means sacrificing sleep. The good news is... our happy baby is re-emerging thanks to all of the great advice I received on here yesterday and our trip to our naturopath.

What's worked....

Cocyntal for Baby Colic.... one word... priceless ... seriously this stuff has magic powers. When the screaming starts we give her this and the effect seems to be near instantaneous.

When we feed her we are only burping her by rubbing her back in an upwards motion. The spit up has greatly decreased.

We are now keeping her sitting upright for a good fifteen minutes post feed.

We are giving them probiotic powder

We will also start to give her gripe water whenever I get to the store and buy some.... oh and yes I know I can make it but my lack of spare time dismisses this idea outright.

Our Naturopath's take is that perhaps my let down is just too fast at this point for Alice to handle so she likely ends up gulping down a ton of air while trying to keep up when nursing. This is definitely aggravating her already irritated tummy. So I am nursing her in the am once to keep her great latching skills going and then I am feeding her through the anti colic tommee tippee bottle the rest of the day. I will only do this for another week and then try out more nursing in hopes that her growth will allow her to handle my flow.

So today life was so much better, it's amazing what a lack of hours of crying can do. Let's hope that this concoction does the trick tomorrow, and the next day... and the next day....

goodnight

how do you know if your baby has colic?

2011-10-19T08:10:00.000-04:00

Oh we started off so well. Both babies were breastfeeding so well and seemed quite happy most of the day. Yes they cried sometimes... all babies cry sometimes... but in the last week... Alice has taken it up several notches and throughout the day her cries go from normal (as in what she's been doing up until now) to full fledged screaming where I think there must be something going on. This all started about a week ago when she would start to nurse, be good for about ten minutes and then start wailing. She has been spitting up a ton also. I had to start supplementing her with expressed breastmilk which isn't ideal as it means I have to pump every feeding for her and I am just not ready for her to no longer breastfeed. I mean if feeding her expressed milk with a bottle is the only option then that's fine but I am hoping it isn't. In terms of bottles we have had to feed her solely with the tommee tippee anti colic bottle... their regular bottles seem to add to the spit up issue.

Last night she cried from oh about 4 o'clock to about 8 o'clock..... not a fun night.

I ended up running to the store and buying some homeopathic colic remedy. We gave her one dose last night and she seemed happy the rest of the night however Andrew was out all night at a work function and that dose was given when he got home so part of me is wondering whether she just wanted her Daddy.

Either way there is something up with her tummy and I am hoping to get to the bottom of it asap.

We have an appointment with our naturopath tomorrow so hopefully she will be able to help us out. I have read that regular GPs often overdiagnose infant GERD or reflux and prescribe Zantac. Um Zantac to my two month old... I think not!

Now I thought that colic was something you were born with and began very soon after birth... do you know if this is right or is it possible to develop a couple of months into life?

help... please....

love this

2011-10-17T09:30:00.000-04:00

by Pixelcloud via etsy

Okay so perhaps my Mondays aren't so intimidating... so daunting.... or so dreaded. They used to be. But now Mondays are just another day... another wonderful day that may involve a continuous race to get things done between feedings, changings, and lots of swaying... but a day that includes lots of smiles, cuddles and (more recently) a giggle or two.

Last week we got some news that makes us one step closer to me not going back to my job.... we refinanced our mortgage. Okay so not exactly thrilling but now when I walk out of our grocery store and see the posted mortgage rates I no longer have to mentally swear because I feel like we are being robbed. Step two...figure out what else I can do to make money while caring for two babies...

Happy monday!

flowers in october

2011-10-13T21:52:00.000-04:00

Today Isla and Alice have been amazing babies. I mean they generally are awesome but today they slept and slept well, were on their best behaviour when we spent the morning with our friend Cindy at a little cafe in Manotick, ate well and were super generous with their smiles. They were so great in fact that I had time to check out some new blogs (well new to me), to go to a body attack class once Andrew got home, and to peruse etsy.. which I am sad to say has been sorely neglected by me as of late.

I would love to get some new prints in this house to freshen things up (and I might just be guilty of having a new print, all wrapped up, sitting on top of our fridge... waiting for me to frame it).

Like any woman I love flowers, especially the flowers from a specific local florist that arrive on non important days... but what I love more than flowers is gorgeous pictures of flowers (they last much much longer....)

Magenta Flowers by ZoiShop via etsy

Cherry Blossoms by ZoiShop via etsy

Dogwood Flowers by ZoiShop via etsy

Happy Thursday

my mom broke both of her feet... a week after the twins were born

2011-10-13T07:50:00.002-04:00

I have wanted to share this for a while now but honestly couldn't bare to write it. A week after Alice and Isla were born I called my parents house (as I do every day) and got my sister. She told me not to panic but that Mommy (yes we still call our Mom Mommy) fell and broke one of her feet and oh the other foot too. My immediate thoughts bordered on hysteria but I do remember thinking that I should send her a flat of milk (I mean who breaks both of her feet!!). Unfortunately as far as breaks go she did a real number on herself. One foot was not so major, the other was broken in two places and required pins and pins and pins and oh 8 to 12 weeks to recover.

I was devastated.

I was selfishly devastated for myself. I mean I wanted my Mom here, with me, when Andrew went back to work, all. of. the. time. I was also devastated for my Mom. She wanted to be here too and now she could not only not be here but she also had to deal with being caged up in their house in a wheelchair for close to two months.

I was so emotional those first couple of weeks with the baby blues and then with this on top of it. All I can say is poor, poor Andrew.

I can now write about this because the first boot came off a couple of weeks ago and the hard cast came off after that and suddenly Nan was here... yesterday... and everything felt right in my world once again.

Luckily, Andrew's Mom lives near by and was with us so so much those first few weeks (and still comes by often to help), otherwise I'm not sure what we would have done. I am totally at home now by myself with the twins but those first few weeks there was a learning curve and it was great to have someone here with me through it.

My Mom is still sporting crutches but can now drive and get up and down the stairs. We are so so happy to have her back.

winning a baby... or a chance at a baby

2011-10-12T08:00:00.000-04:00

I don't love the radio... I mean I like the music but loath the chit chat... especially the morning shows. I mean really, it should be illegal to be that perky that early and this is coming from someone who likes mornings and does not require caffeine to do so. We have a local radio station that often puts out big contests... you know the type of thing they advertise at least five times an hour. Normally these contests involve some big obscure challenge and normally I don't pay any attention to them.

Well a few weeks back I started to hear about a win a baby contest. My immediate reaction was that they should never call the contest win a baby. I mean you can't win a baby. If you have trouble conceiving a child you can't just magically get one. Life would be so much easier if it worked that way.

This contest should have been called win a chance at a baby, or win medical help to conceive a child or win hope. So I have an issue with the name... but I think it is great that they created this contest in the first place. So many people are so blissfully unaware (I was one of such people) that so many of us go through infertility struggles and that these struggles can cost a lot of money and even then there is no guarantee that you will be granted your wish, to conceive a child (or two). I have to admit that I really didn't follow along with all of the hype leading up to the winning announcement only because I usually change the radio station when someone starts talking (yes I am an advertiser's nightmare), however I was drawn to the winning replay online through facebook.

It made me cry.

Yes I can put on a great mask of indifference but when it comes to this topic, that is way to close to home, I get all emotional and wonder who is this person, crying about a radio contest winning announcement replay?

There were five finalists that you apparently could vote for online. They all won.

I am cheering for these five couples, hoping this win actually does amount to a real live baby. I am also silently cheering for the station, for putting this out there, making people realize that just relaxing does not always get you pregnant.

Want a good cry? Take a listen... win a baby replay

Newborn Feet by cherylzibisky via etsy

turkey coma

2011-10-10T21:20:00.001-04:00

This is Andrew... post several hours golfing in the sun (umm where was the sunscreen?) + a couple beers and a couple of glasses of wine + one turkey dinner.

My parents repeatedly told him to go downstairs, find a bed and take a nap... but he thought that would be rude... so instead he grabbed Alice (one of two super cuddly babies that we have) and leaned back for a minute to rest. Well he was out a minute later and we were snapping away at the two of them.

turkey... coma...

Lesson learned.

have a warm weekend

2011-10-07T11:38:00.000-04:00

This weekend is Thanksgiving weekend here in Canada and we will be celebrating with two family dinners. I have been living in such drab clothing as of late simply because I always need to have easy access to the boobs and also because I am still wearing safe clothes... safe as in I know they will fit (read lululemon pants and maternity jeans)... boring. With thanksgiving here I am thinking I should ditch the regular tees and try to find something semi interesting in my closet.

I am loving these colourful options for fall...

Dromedary Dress via Anthropologie... I love the shape of this

This Flounced Pintuck Parka would add some punch to my blah outfits these days

Love the relaxed look of this Lombok Tote... if only I didn't need the diaper bag!

We also plan on taking our first trip to a restaurant with Isla and Alice in tow. We are thinking somewhere loud and greasy for breakfast. Sounds wonderful doesn't it! Luckily we have lovely friends who are going to brave this first with us. Wish us luck!

Happy Thanksgiving to all of your Canadians. Have a wonderful weekend.

two months old

2011-10-06T20:55:00.000-04:00

dear alice and isla,

You are two months old and you look so big to me now. You hold up your heads more and more. You smile when I smile... sometimes. Every day you do something new.

I kind of want a pause button.

You are both over eight pounds and I am constantly surprised that you just keep on growing from breastfeeding. I mean you must be sneaking in extra feedings somehow.

I love our routine... or perhaps we should call it our anti-routine since we all know that just going with the flow works way better for all of us.

oh and I will let you in a little secret... the doctor doesn't think that you are identical anymore either!

How's that for a twist!

xoxo mommy

oh the things I said I would never do and have done

2011-10-05T07:24:00.000-04:00

Back before I had babies I was a judge-er... as in I would look at what other people did with their children and mentally judge them... okay I still do that to a certain extent but I stand corrected in many of my former childless assumptions.

I was never going to give my babies a pacifier... never. I mean wouldn't that cause nipple confusion? Wouldn't they become addicted to the pacifier and end up sucking on it well into their toddler years like Suri Cruise? Well I threw out these fears a couple of weeks ago and we tried to give each of them a soother. Isla was adamantly against something that she could suck and yet would not feed her. Alice on the other hand... it was more like love at first sight. As soon as she gets it in her mouth her eyes start to droop.

Oh and they still take the boob like they were made for it (which in fact they were)...

so so good...

I was convinced that our babies would not get flat head syndrome. Flat head syndrome happened to babies of parents who left them constantly in their car seat or constantly lying down. I was going to wear my babies constantly, never leave them in the car seat outside of the car and thus they would never suffer the dreaded flat head. Well I love my sleepy wrap and so do they, we hold them constantly, we never leave them in the car seat and voila... Isla has a mad case of flat head syndrome on one side of her head!!!

Damn.

here she is propped onto her other side in hopes that things will even out...

I would never never ever dress them the same. They aren't the same person, so why would I ever put them in the same clothing. Well we live in Ontario and it gets cold here. We spent the better part of Saturday out shopping for cold weather gear for Isla and Alice and it was tough. As in they are small and most outdoor one piece-ers come in size 0-6 months which is a large range. We came home with two matching fleeces from MEC and tried them on them.... way too big. I found two matching 0-3 month-ers at Joe Fresh on Sunday and they fit much better. Apparently companies don't make a plethora of colour options when it comes to fleece... so matching they are.

This is a one time occurrence... I swear.

and Isla's propped up once again...

So apparently all of that judging was naive on my part. At this point if it makes our lives easier I am all for it.

Happy Wednesday!

i missed my one year blog anniversary

2011-09-29T06:44:00.000-04:00

I am officially disappointed in myself. I mean I did just have two babies 7 weeks ago but really, I never thought I would miss such an important milestone. I catch myself thinking about how amazing our life is right now and that if I could only tell my former (one year ago) self that everything really would turn out so well, I could have avoided months and months of agony (and so could have Andrew). Of course life just doesn't work like that. Life throws you curve balls and expects you to work them out. For me life was going pretty damn well until we found out that we wouldn't be able to make a baby the good old fashioned way. I mean I knew who I wanted to marry when I was thirteen, I actually did marry that person when I was twenty five and here we were on track to start a family. A year ago I did have hope but that was mixed with a ton of nerves and fears.

I am not a mushy person. In fact I have been labelled things such as "ice queen" in the past. Until recently I haven't had a sentimental bone in my body (I think babies change this though). This blog has allowed me to go to places I normally wouldn't, to pull apart my guarded self, to write down things I am scared about thinking and best of all to reach out to people, find common ground and connect.

thank you for reading, thank you for sharing, every comment is so encouraging, it's like opening a present over and over every day.

Here are the posts that tell my story so far... how I started out a year ago and how much everything has changed so profoundly...

like a band-aid (my first post)
where was the caution sign? (our infertility struggled laid out for all to read)
about that soccer field or why i believe in fate (how I knew I wanted to marry Andrew when I was 13)
my november, hello ivf calender (yes... it's my ivf calender in case you're curious of how this all went down)
needle party officially begun (because I loathe needles and you might too... they aren't so bad especially if your husband incorporates a needle dance)
rather be hiking, well maybe not (what we give up to get the chance at a baby)
trigger time, get excited (getting to trigger is like finding the golden ticket..)
needles, drugs and nineteen eggs (hmmm nineteen eggs, no wonder I looked pregnant..)
pupo (pregnant until proven otherwise)
best birthday ever (birthday + positive pregnancy test = best day ever)
baby A... baby B... hello twins! (what a way to ring in the new year!)
35 weeks pregnant (wow what a tummy!)
instant family (they're here!)

Next up... birth story, nursery tour and perhaps I will even get my shit together enough to post our backyard reveal!

Thanks for following along!

via

gorgeous

2011-09-28T07:58:00.000-04:00

I love this. It makes me want to run outside and bask in the crisp fall sunset.

Sweet Dreams by donnageissler via etsy

Today I am off to get my hair cut and coloured. This will be my first prolonged time away from Isla and Alice. I am going to try and relax and enjoy it and don't worry... I have zero plans of getting a "mom" bob!

Happy Wednesday!

and the identical mystery continues...

2011-09-27T11:40:00.000-04:00

On Saturday we braved an 18 baby get together... yes... 18 twins (from nine sets of parents whom we met at our multiples prenatal classes) in one house simultaneously. It was so great to chat with other parents of multiples. They get what the daily chaos is like when you have two babies living under your roof. It reminds us that we aren't alone and that other people do this crazy juggling act all day every day as well!

Funny enough we were all talking about how raising twins so far is completely manageable and not nearly as overwhelming or impossible as we anticipated. Just accept the insanity and go with it. That's what we do every day and it seems to be working. At one point we actually managed to get all 18 babies lying in a circle for a photo and by some miracle at one point, none of them were crying.

Out of the nine couples, three of us had identicals... or shall I say two of them definitely had identical twins and we seem to have impostor... how are they identical identical twins...

more proof...

hmmm...

we love the sling

2011-09-26T08:00:00.000-04:00

I think the sling is essential for any new mother or father (yes I've managed to get this on Andrew once or twice... in the comfort of our home.... he has his beco butterfly wrap which is admittedly much more "manly" but you can't beat the closeness that a wrap can offer).

Whenever I leave the house this comes with me. If they're in the stroller and one starts fussing I pull out the wrap.. instant soother.

I have the Sleepy Wrap. I wanted the Hugabub but just couldn't justify the $135+ price tag when the sleepy wrap is closer to $60. The Sleepy Wrap is made out of a thicker (read hotter) material so if you were expecting early summer or if you live in a hot climate I would definitely go for the pricier wrap made of thinner material. Luckily Ottawa is mostly frigid with a touch of heat in the summer so this works here.

I love how she stares right up at me...

I love love how they both seem to drift off so easily when they are good and wrapped up.

and they also provide me with hours of entertainment... funny face style.

Happy monday!

how soon is too soon to sleep train?

2011-09-22T07:45:00.001-04:00

Our girls are over six weeks old and to be honest things have just been so busy we have sort of just forgotten about everything we read about sleep training pre-babies. We have also not really felt the urge to coerce our girls into some sort of military-like schedule so young. They also sleep really, really well at night in between feedings. The problem arises during the day... yes napping... they don't seem to be so solid at napping.

So now I am worrying a bit that they are fussy during the day because they are overtired but in order for them to not be overtired they need to not be fussy so that they actually sleep.. It's a vicious cycle.

I read Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Twins and I did retain some of the information and should likely crack it open again but when I actually have time to read these days I would really prefer to continue plowing through the Hunger Games Trilogy... I say plowing because I am not loving it but feel the need to keep reading to see if somewhere soon it gets better (I am nearing the end of the second book... if you're read them and think that the third one is awesome please let me know).

At this point I am really hoping that someone has some advice. Right now we are sitting here watching Modern Family with one baby in the bassinet behind us and one asleep in Andrew's arms... is that wrong? Part of me thinks that they should likely be in our room at this point, asleep in their bassinet. The other part that realizes there are so few hours of calm in our days says to just let this continue.

So please tell me... should we be sleep training them now?

will i go back

2011-09-19T08:20:00.000-04:00

I never talk about work on here. I rarely talk about work outside of work to anyone except Andrew. Why is this?

Well if I am being honest, I kind of hate it.

Ever since Alice and Isla were born I've contemplated how I would ever go back to work. I look at their gorgeous little faces and tear up even thinking about dropping them off somewhere else day after day.

I'm not sure if I would feel differently if I was actually passionate about what I did. I think I would still feel the same way. I know that people say that having children changes you and I always assumed that it would. I just never realized how much it would change me.

So while feeding, changing, soothing and playing with our babies I am also caught thinking... constantly... about how I can not go back to work.

Andrew, the engineer that he is, has laid it out on the line... excel style. The main issue being... can we afford this?

I am debating such things as taking in more children... yes that's right... daycare, starting my own company as a professional organizer, lifestyle consultant, freelance writer, wellness coach or working as a consultant in what I know but loathe... recruiting.

I have close to a year to get this together but I need a plan now... or more like yesterday.

Any ideas? If you have children do you work or stay at home? How did you make this decision?

I just can't imagine leaving them.

via

our week in pictures

2011-09-16T10:27:00.000-04:00

Isla and Alice will be six weeks old tomorrow! This week all of a sudden they both seem so much bigger. Andrew weighed himself and then held each of them and stepped back on the scale last night (I am way too frightened to get near that scale at this point). Isla is over 8 pounds and Alice over 7!! It seemed like they were hovering around birth weight for so long and suddenly they are fitting into clothes.

Last night I actually got my wedding rings on. Apparently heading back to the gym and constantly feeding these two is making a difference after all!

Since I haven't managed to do more daily posts I am doing a bit of a dump here to fill you in on what has been keeping me busy...

what's funnier than a lounging baby... nothing.

okay so maybe her Daddy put her in this pose... maybe.

they are so alert now... so fun to watch them watching you

at the wedding with alice... and alice's one and a half year old cousin... seriously... is she ever going to be that big!

This is the dress I ended up in. Looking at these pictures... not sure it was the best idea as the smallest part of the dress is always hidden by a baby which leaves me looking like a blob... did I mention I've been to two body pump classes this week?

Have a fabulous weekend!

fairy tales are pretty

2011-09-14T20:11:00.000-04:00

I've always had a touch of peter pan syndrome..... as in I would prefer to never grow up... as in I would enroll in hogwarts if such a place existed, several of my favourite books and movies are intended for children and I still believe in the Easter Bunny... I mean I saw him walk into my house when I was little!

Today I got through the entire day sans help! So so so satisfying...

So right now I am balancing a baby in one arm, a glass of wine in the other and typing with... well the arm that just put the wine down. I am in my own fairy tale...

these are so so pretty...

Searching for Fairy Tales by ThisYearsGirl via Etsy

The Queen by ThisYearsGirl via Etsy

bliss

2011-09-12T12:36:00.000-04:00

Yes I heard from several people while I was pregnant that a swing was an essential item....

No we did not purchase one while I was pregnant thinking that the vibrating bouncy chair would suffice....

we were wrong...

a swing = bliss

one wailing baby whilst nursing another baby is now a thing of the past (fingers crossed)

dear fisher price... i think i might just love you

if breastfeeding was an Olympic sport....

2011-09-12T07:45:00.000-04:00

Isla would win gold....

I wish I was kidding but honestly... she attacks me like she has never eaten before... like she will never eat again... like she is the hungriest baby alive...

I actually have to take a few good deep long breathes when she first latches on until she eases up.

Alice on the other hand generally takes her sweet time... like she is sitting down for a five course meal and must pace herself to get through all of the courses.

I feel very lucky that I am able to breastfeed them both. I constantly have to remind myself of this fact since I do feel like an all hours, all-you-can-eat buffet. My life involves one and a half hour instances where I run around and try to eat, make myself presentable and most recently squeeze in time to kick this flab off of my body.

It's worth it though... right... yes yes it is ... I mean how satisfied was I when the doctor told us that Isla is in the 90th percentile for growth... that's with my milk!

Here we are.... my little gobbler and I

identical... hmmm?

2011-09-09T17:53:00.000-04:00

Our identical twins do not look identical. When they were born they looked quite different. Their skin tone was very different, their heads were a totally different shape and we could tell them apart easily... we did not expect this.

So for the past 4+ weeks we have been wondering if they are in fact identical.

It is no secret that we did IVF. One of the interesting parts of conceiving with IVF is the early ultrasounds that you receive. Our early ultrasounds perplexed the doctors at our clinic as they were apparently not used to seeing identicals. The evidence seemed simple enough... one placenta... no marker for two placentas having fused together... identical twins.

But here we are wondering if there is an exception to this. Could our girls be in fact the product of our two transferred embryos... rather then the one we thought had split?

I guess we will just have to wait and see if these two precious faces become more similar over time.

Personally, I think it would be great if they remain different physically, I mean who wants to have an identical looking twin?

Oh and I know some of you have been asking who is who... so take a wild guess and let me know who you think is Alice and who is Isla.

Happy Weekend!

one month old

2011-09-06T10:23:00.000-04:00

dear alice, isla and andrew,

Last night I was laying in bed, thinking how crazy it seems that a month ago you were preparing to make your debut and I was in labor. I still look at you.. every day... and wonder how you possibly both were in my belly at the same time.

This month has easily been the best month of my life. Nothing else comes close.

Every day I learn something new about you and I also surprise myself by figuring out something else that will make this whole circus just a bit more simple. It amazes me still how much of this is instinctual. Thank god for that.

In a month you've both gotten bigger, your voices are stronger, you are better at breastfeeding, you smile more and more and you open your big, beautiful eyes and look up at me.

Andrew.. you are so.. so.. good at this. I will always think back to our time at the hospital.. from the five hour energy drink you downed as soon as we were admitted... the unforgettable expression on your face when the first baby was born... the countless diaper changes and swaddling that you did while I was recovering from my complications and to our first night together, as a family of four, in that tiny little private hospital room.

This first month has inched by. I have loved every minute of it.

xoxo mommy

mistake

2011-09-02T07:00:00.000-04:00

Last night I tried on a dress... one that fit easily on my former pre-preggo skinny frame.

It did not go well.

Andrew had to peel it off of me and I actually had a mini panic attack thinking that it would not fit back over these boobs and we might just have to cut it off.

This mistake is a result of me actually thinking that the dress might work for a wedding that we are going to next weekend.

So now I am officially dress-less and I do not want to buy a new one since I will only be this current size for a fleeting moment (okay maybe slightly more then fleeting).

Lesson learned. No more trying on old, pre preggo clothes until I am convinced that they actually have a shot at fitting.

French Girl's Wardrobe by lesleysico via etsy

let's spoon

2011-09-01T13:04:00.000-04:00

Spooning... it's one of those things that I would day dream about when I was younger... yes I would picture me.. and my yet undiscovered future husband spooning. This is the type of thing that occupied my young teen mind... sad.. maybe... but true.

Why am I bringing this up you might wonder? Well lately I have been rather busy... mostly breastfeeding twin girls... and the first non-baby thing that pops into my mind... spooning... maybe it's because I replaced the snoogle preggo pillow with a regular pillow between us (I need something to support these boobs!) and haven't actually slept near Andrew for months and months... or maybe because we are just so busy now with feeding, changing, and cuddling our babies that a small part of me is yelling what about us... whatever it is... I have spooning on the brain.

So I brought up the whole... why don't we spoon more question to Andrew the other day... and his reply..... shave your head and I'll spoon the f!#% out of you.

Andrew likes to be the little spoon... as in the one getting spooned as opposed to the spooner. His rationale... my hair.. apparently it suffocates him if he's the spooner.

well I had "man hair" once in my life and I never intend to return to those days of horror.

so tell me... do you spoon?

via Le Love via cristina_aboutdesouffle

we went for a hike

2011-08-29T08:00:00.001-04:00

Yesterday we went for our first hike as a family of four. We drove ten minutes to a local trail and took off carrying both babies in our carriers. It felt so good to put running shoes on again and to get outside near trees. We would never have gone on this trail pre-babies... it would have been labelled as far too easy... but with babies... it was just right.

Getting out of the house is so necessary these days. Yes it can be a challenge to mobilize two babies... but as I told Andrew... we're going to go and we're going to like it. And we did.

In case you're curious... we ended up buying the Beco Butterfly soft structured carrier (on Andrew) and the Sleepy Wrap (on me), We love them both and more importantly... Alice and Isla love being in them!

living in a bubble

2011-08-26T15:52:00.000-04:00

Yes I have been a bit disappointing as of late in the blog posting area.

I have been living in a bubble... and loving it.

Who knew finding ten spare minutes to compose a post could be so difficult once you have two newborns by your side? I didn't.

Three weeks ago today I went into labor. I can't believe they are almost three weeks old.

I was dreading this past Monday like the plague. Monday was when Daddy/Andrew went back to work. I feared for our bubble. What would happen when he left? How could I possibly do all of this work on my own? The four of us are such a great team and I dreaded, dreaded, dreaded breaking up this bubble. I cried about him going back to work from the day they were born until the minute he shut the door Monday morning... but luckily it ended there.

Today is Friday and we did it (with help of course).

I feel like I all do is breastfeed but I am also so glad that I am able to sustain two babies.

I am sorry for being so absent on your blogs but I just can't get enough of these two.

My days are so long but so full. I don't remember when we laughed this much.

I hope you have a fabulous weekend!

a day in the life of us

2011-08-16T15:18:00.000-04:00

Oh how about a glimpse into our lives... 10 glorious days in with Isla and Alice...

6ish am... breastfeed Isla or Alice

change diaper of Isla or Alice

dress Isla or Alice

20 or 30 minutes later...

repeat for the second baby

2 hours later (if we're lucky)... repeat undressing, breastfeeding, changing, and dressing Alice and Isla

add in 3 or 4 daily pumping sessions

add in random diaper changes

add in each of us sneaking in a quick shower

add in a bath every second day for Alice and Isla

add in eating while breastfeeding when I can

add in eating prepared foods dropped off by loving friends and family

add in 5 doctors appointments since we were discharged from the hospital

repeat... repeat.... repeat... repeat... do you see the pattern?

we now live in 2-3 hour increments

but we are loving every last second of it!

instant family

2011-08-11T18:19:00.000-04:00

I went into labor Friday night.

The contractions started at 7 pm.

Alice and Isla arrived just after 8 am on Saturday.

We left the hospital on Tuesday afternoon.

Suddenly the world seems so complete, so awesome and so much more dangerous.

Please bear with me and my lack of posts while we soak up the early days as our instant family of four.

a little contraction distraction a la jcrew

2011-08-04T18:57:00.000-04:00

While my indecisive body keeps on contracting on and off I figured I mind as well do something happy to distract myself... so I decided to peruse JCrew...

Signature Signet Ring... god I love a good gold piece of jewlery... I'm not talking the goddy kind... more the subtle but gorgeous kind.. via

High-waisted skinny jean via ... because I WILL fit into skinny jeans again some day.

Refined Silk Cashmere Wrap.... I am loving this colour and almost had my sister convinced to detour from her usual neutral pallet and take a risk with a similarly hued tank! via

Cutler and Gross Sunglasses via ... did I mention that I am a sucker for sunglasses... especially the break the bank kind...

Now for the baby news... apparently I am walking around 4 cm dilated and fully effaced... apparently in active labor... all I need is the consistent contractions... come on contractions... let's get this done!

due date

2011-08-03T18:11:00.000-04:00

Today is my due date... and I am sitting on the couch.... zero contractions at the moment.

Of course I had contractions all last night and sporadically today but right now.... nothing.

Apparently the babies are super comfy and have decided to hold out for a while.

and they are getting bigger.... that's right... one has officially surpassed the 6 lb mark... yikes!

I keep telling them that they will have so much more room out here... they haven't taken that bait yet...

soon... this has to happen soon...

via theowlslovenest

still just the two of us

2011-08-02T07:59:00.000-04:00

That's right... I'm still pregnant.

We did have a bit of fun triage style on Friday night and I have been getting painful contractions ever since but nothing regular enough to warrant a serious trip back to the hospital.

I never received a call on Friday from my OB's office so I believe I am in the clear for the preeclampsia risk. Today we have an ultrasound so I am really hoping they've managed to find some room in there to grow. In any case, I did go out and buy Castor Oil on the weekend. I haven't been tempted to actually use it but if the progress isn't there today I will drink it down in an attempt to get this show on the road.

I know that in all likelihood we will have two babies this week. It still doesn't feel real and I don't think it will until we can actually see them outside of my body.

Babies... we are ready for you.

Cherries by ZoiShop via etsy

eviction notice

2011-07-28T21:22:00.000-04:00

Well we didn't get the usual boring... things are awesome... news at the OB's office this morning. Things are not terrible but they are less than ideal. The babies seem to have been put on a clock... and it's ticking faster than I would like.

Tomorrow I will hear back to see if I am developing pre-eclampsia... I had a few of the markers but none of the serious signs so I had bloodwork done to help confirm or rule out. If it is actually confirmed (which I am doubting and the OB is doubting) then we will likely be pressured to induce. On the other side of things my next ultrasound appointment is Tuesday and if it shows slow growth for the babies they will likely be given eviction notices.

They are happy in there... can't we just let them be?

So we are now on a mission to gently nudge them down and out before they are served with a real eviction notice ... any suggestions?

I could give all to Time by EmeliaJane via etsy

he had a dream

2011-07-27T11:21:00.000-04:00

Last night Andrew had a dream that the babies arrived, were adorable and that the birth was a piece of cake.

He wants them to make a break for it already. I do too. Not in that it's time for you girls to be evicted sort of way, but in the we are so ready to meet you kind of way.

We are 36 weeks today! How did this happen? It seems like just yesterday that I was stressing out while reading Mothering Multiples and all of the chapters on how to breastfeed babies in the NICU. They are 36 weeks... full term twins.

I haven't taken an updated belly shot this week but I don't know that much has changed. There was a point a few weeks back that I just stopped trying to see the difference and accepted that I am rather huge in the belly area. Yes people get all wide eyed when they see me out and walking around. I think most fear that I might spontaneously have the babies right there... in front of them. Right now it feels so surreal. Like we know it's coming soon but it won't really feel real until we can see them out here, outside of my tummy. In my head I keep thinking that they are going to come out looking like two different babies... but really they will come out looking the same, they weigh practically the same amount... I mean is an ounce going to make a visible difference?

Andrew packed his bag last night so both bags are fully packed and zipped up. There is no turning back and we are at the point where I feel that we are overly ready so that they must be coming any day now.

I am ready for his dream to come true... anytime now little ladies!

by simplyhue via etsy